Rise of the Planet of the Apes

[Snow]

Wow Snow, you really hate this film, don't you?

I had no one on Skype or around to vent too. And I'm not gonna bother with a review so this is a good a place as any to vent.

It was a real shitty movie. Imagine a whole Star Wars movie based on midichlorians. It was such a stupid movie and the actors were so useless in it.

If you've seen it name a part in this movie and I'll tell you why it was so stupid.

I'm all for stupid movies that have entertainment value but this was the finish to a weekend with lots of football where non if it were Manchester United and it was pure annoyance.

Had this been a monkey news from Karl Pilkington first and then it was made into a movie it might be brilliant because it was supposed to be this stupid. But this is supposed to be the reason for why Planet of the Apes happened?

When Draco Malfoy said "get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape" I lost a piece of faith in Hollywood. I mean what the feck.

Yea, lets not check on the scientist who got exposed to A VIRUS. Let's skip protocol all together whilst developing A VIRUS. Never mind that a ape broke into the facilities and stole it on his own.

It's real shitty science fiction with no humor in it at all.

 

[Rood]

just to offset Snow's intense dislike - I watched this on a plane last week and thought it was brilliant, didnt really expect much either as I rarely watch anything I am really excited about on a plane.

Of course there are plot holes but its a scifi film so that is to be expected.

 

[Randall Flagg]

It's real shitty science fiction with no humor in it at all.

You have unusual hate for this movie

I thought it was excellent. Why were you looking for humor?

 

[jveezy]

I'll definitely agree on the fact that there was no humor.

 

[Gambit]

Excellent film, I loved it. Some great humour in it as well. Basically the opposite of everything Snow says.

 

[Randall Flagg]

Was there humor? I dont recall any. Besides I am not looking for humor in a sci fi movie. Humor often ruins films.

 

[Gambit]

Was there humor? I dont recall any. Besides I am not looking for humor in a sci fi movie. Humor often ruins films.

There was the odd comic moment but as the film was quite serious in it's subject matter I wasn't expecting the Hangover.
Edit: scratch that, it had a chimpanzee in a jumper walking about, comedy gold right there.

 

[Badunk]

Talking chimps are hilarious! Just look at Gareth Bale!

 

[Snow]

You lot are all like Homer Simpson. But a chimp in the movie and it's great.

How can you not be bothered by incredibly stupid plotholes like everything that was to do with the virus.

Guy took a chimp and a virus home with him after a chimp got loose and wreaked havoc. Surely there would be an inspection to how this happened, never mind it going completely unnoticed that he took this home.

He uses the virus at his home. He has a pet chimp for years. The chimp comes across a dog for the first time at age 5 yet he goes to the same hiking trail place for years.

Science guy gets exposed to a virus. No one thinks nothing more of it.

He coughs blood but disregards it. No fear for his life at all besides going to stoner's place once?

Chimp has no problem getting to the lab from his chimp place. In one night. Where did he get the directions from? How could he move so fast completely unnoticed?

Chimp breaks into a science lab. Since it contains one virus I assume it has a lot more shit in it. How. The feck. He just knows how to bypass security in a place he's never been to?

Chimp steals virus. No one notices at the lab. Why should they. They break protocols every day and don't mind their coworkers getting exposed to viruses and coincidentally get sick the next day.

These huge plot holes are all besides how that virus shit could possibly work or how it affects the chimps or humans. I haven't even gone into that. Only mentioned a bit part.

Either you don't care about stuff like that ruining the movies, you are too stupid to notice or you like chimps to much that they trump everything else.

The ending was also shit.

Spoiler

"Come home. I'll protect you" blablabla. Yea. The chimp has stolen a virus, broken out a bunch of his fellow chimps, organized whole bunch of shit and taken out the whole cop departments and SWAT team despite having no weapons. Sure, he's just gonna believe you and say feck it. What a stupid fecking supposedly genius scientist.

 

[Adzzz]

Snow, you're being a bit weird.

 

[Snow]

Snow, you're being a bit weird.

Was there anything wrong with what I said?

 

[Rood]

you can take virtually any scifi movie and pick a raft of plot holes in them - its quite a pointless excercise really

forget the nitpicking and just enjoy the ride !

The only thing I agree with is that the ending was a bit shit, but then this is just supposed to set the scene for a couple more films.

 

[Easy V]

This shelter thing doesn't make much sense at all. It's not like it would be profitable. Only reason to have one is that you like chimps. These guys don't seem to at all.

I haven't seen the film for a while, but I don't remember the guy who owned it ever being cruel to the chimps, just his son.

When Draco Malfoy said "get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape" I lost a piece of faith in Hollywood. I mean what the feck.

It was a line from the original Planet of the Apes movie, spoken by Charlton Heston's character. They put it in here as an homage, for fans of the series.

Chimp has no problem getting to the lab from his chimp place. In one night. Where did he get the directions from? How could he move so fast completely unnoticed?

Chimp breaks into a science lab. Since it contains one virus I assume it has a lot more shit in it. How. The feck. He just knows how to bypass security in a place he's never been to?

Chimp steals virus. No one notices at the lab. Why should they. They break protocols every day and don't mind their coworkers getting exposed to viruses and coincidentally get sick the next day.

All of this is wrong though lol. He didn't break into the labs, he went back to James Franco's house and stole the virus that he'd been using on his father. It was later on that he broke into the labs, backed up by about a thousand other chimps.


The stuff with the lab guy being exposed and nobody seeming to care, was silly. But as has been said, it's a Sci-Fi film, so one or two moments like that shouldn't distract too much. You do seem to have formed a slightly irrational hatred for this film. You don't have any deep-rooted childhood issues with a chimp, do you? But seriously though, I really enjoyed it. It wasn't thought-provoking or all that factually correct, but I wasn't expecting that anyway.

 

[buckooo1978]

i thought the film was very good - entertaining and much much better than the Mark Wahlberg Planet of the Apes movie

a movie where apes develop they way they do in the movie is hardly going to stay within the realms of possibility

 

[Snow]

I haven't seen the film for a while, but I don't remember the guy who owned it ever being cruel to the chimps, just his son.



It was a line from the original Planet of the Apes movie, spoken by Charlton Heston's character. They put it in here as an homage, for fans of the series.

I know that. But they gave it to a shitty kid who everyone watching the movie probably hated.

All of this is wrong though lol. He didn't break into the labs, he went back to James Franco's house and stole the virus that he'd been using on his father. It was later on that he broke into the labs, backed up by about a thousand other chimps.

The point still stands. How did he know the direction. How did he know Franco wouldn't be home? Because it's the night and he probably is.
How did he break into the lab with all the monkeys and it comes as a surprise to the CEO the morning after? Don't they have, you know, security.

The stuff with the lab guy being exposed and nobody seeming to care, was silly. But as has been said, it's a Sci-Fi film, so one or two moments like that shouldn't distract too much. You do seem to have formed a slightly irrational hatred for this film. You don't have any deep-rooted childhood issues with a chimp, do you? But seriously though, I really enjoyed it. It wasn't thought-provoking or all that factually correct, but I wasn't expecting that anyway.

I expect a big budget science flick to not be so stupid on small things like that. I blame the writing and the directing. No wonder. Both of those were noobs who had made 2 or 3 shitty movies before that.

It would be enjoyable if they hadn't gone much into how the virus worked. It made all the protocol breaches and lack of work ethic so shitty.

The movie cost 100m dollars. If that's what you get for 100m dollars it's definitely shit. Like I said, the actors were useless. Freida Pinto, one of the most pointless characters I've seen in a movie to have that many lines. I also don't buy that a character that young would know so much about ape psychology. Perhaps if she were African or something but stuff like that the movie just didn't bother explaining.

Had this movie been made from the chimps point of view it would be a different story.

 

[jveezy]

I know that. But they gave it to a shitty kid who everyone watching the movie probably hated.

That's the point. In the original movies you sympathize with the humans. In this one you sympathize with the apes. To complete the flip you take the iconic line you sympatized with before and have it spoken by a character you hate and then top it off with the most unexpected moment in the film.

The point still stands. How did he know the direction. How did he know Franco wouldn't be home? Because it's the night and he probably is.

Pretty sure he was home and sleeping, wasn't he?

 

[Snow]

you can take virtually any scifi movie and pick a raft of plot holes in them - its quite a pointless excercise really

forget the nitpicking and just enjoy the ride !

The only thing I agree with is that the ending was a bit shit, but then this is just supposed to set the scene for a couple more films.

Virtually any sci-fi movie with a 100 million dollar budget? I don't think so. Shit directing and writing made this shit.

The casting was also so bad. James Franco wasn't right for this at all. Pinto shouldn't even had been there at all. And there was no reason for the kid to be so abusive. He probably grew up there. He acted like Draco Malfoy but Draco was rich and spoiled. This kid wasn't. Made no sense to me at all. And that's the epitome of the movie. Made no sense at all.

In the original Planet of the Apes you have no idea what year it was. And no ape in that movie was as near smart enough as these apes.

I'm studying biology. It's the equivalent of me being a basketball player and about to see Air Bud with it being a serious movie. Science fiction isn't just some shit happens because of science and you should accept it. That's shitty science fiction. Give me Soylent Green and the original Planet of the Apes movie any day.

 

[Rood]

I'm studying biology.

This and the fact that you are obviously a fan of the originals goes a long way to explaining your bizarre hatred of this film

The higher the budget, the more plot holes you will probably find!

i do agree Pinto is a shit actress - looks great though so I'll let her off

 

[Snow]

That's the point. In the original movies you sympathize with the humans. In this one you sympathize with the apes. To complete the flip you take the iconic line you sympatized with before and have it spoken by a character you hate and then top it off with the most unexpected moment in the film.



Pretty sure he was home and sleeping, wasn't he?

Yes. They just cut to him escaping the sanctuary to him being inside the house. Thankfully Franco still, after all this time after his fathers death, had a bunch of virus in his fridge next to his beer. Also thankfully there was no such thing as overexposure to the virus because the already smart chimp stood in a bunch of it already.

I don't get what the chimp was talking to the orangutan before he made them all smart. How much was the orangutans vocabulary in signs before he became smart. It made it look like they were having an actual conversation but it was just an orangutan so all he would be signing about were basic needs.

 

[Snow]

This and the fact that you are obviously a fan of the originals goes a long way to explaining your bizarre hatred of this film

The higher the budget, the more plot holes you will probably find!

i do agree Pinto is a shit actress - looks great though so I'll let her off

Not a fan per ce. It just ruined an otherwise average day. Were I drunk and had a mate with me I'd probably be laughing at it instead of being so annoyed. So it's also partly circumstantial. I'll give it that.

The bad things just outweighed the good things so much. It's not the same watching a gorilla jumping at a helicopter like it is seeing John McClane basically shooting a car at one.

Do you agree with me that it would have been better had it had way less Franco and science lab and more chimpanzee perspective?

 

[Easy V]

I know that. But they gave it to a shitty kid who everyone watching the movie probably hated.

It did sound a bit out of place considering the setting and the delivery, but again, it didn't really bother me. I thought it was a nice little homage and the response from Caesar was a great moment.

The point still stands. How did he know the direction. How did he know Franco wouldn't be home? Because it's the night and he probably is.
How did he break into the lab with all the monkeys and it comes as a surprise to the CEO the morning after? Don't they have, you know, security.

Maybe he got the bus? Or stopped and asked a local. Or maybe the shelter is just around the corner. I honestly couldn't tell you, because they didn't tell us, but it didn't seem that big of an issue for me personally. In terms of furthering the plot, they needed Caesar to be in possession of the virus, to spread it to the other apes. So they had him go back home. It might raise the odd question if you want to be picky, but I can't say it really bothered me.

The CEO didn't arrive the morning after, he turned up as the apes were smashing the place up. They broke in, invaded the place, the CEO parked his car, walked into the facility and saw what was happening. They do have security, but I'm assuming they don't have procedures for a thousand scientifically enhanced apes breaking in lol. But maybe they should.

I expect a big budget science flick to not be so stupid on small things like that. I blame the writing and the directing. No wonder. Both of those were noobs who had made 2 or 3 shitty movies before that.

I'm kind of the opposite. If I want to see an intelligent movie, I don't go to see a big-budget summer blockbuster. When I watch that kind of film, I expect what I usually get, apart from a few exceptions like Nolan's recent efforts. That's not to say that I like stupidity, but the most important thing for me is the flow and pace of the film, which I thought was fine.

And I'm not familiar with the writers, but I thought Rupert Wyatt did a good job with The Escapist.

The movie cost 100m dollars. If that's what you get for 100m dollars it's definitely shit. Like I said, the actors were useless. Freida Pinto, one of the most pointless characters I've seen in a movie to have that many lines. I also don't buy that a character that young would know so much about ape psychology. Perhaps if she were African or something but stuff like that the movie just didn't bother explaining.

Money doesn't buy you a quality film though, it buys you special effects, set pieces, lighting equipment and engineers, quality cameras and filters, props etc. You need a good screenwriter and director to do the rest. So the budget doesn't affect my expectations.

You're completely right about the acting though, I'm a fan of James Franco, but this wasn't his best performance, and as you say, Freida Pinto was pointless and uninteresting. I would have been happy if her character had been taken out completely.

 

[Adzzz]

Was there anything wrong with what I said?

Well, you did call people stupid in the post for liking what was an enjoyable film. It's obviously a sci-fi/action flick, yet you seem to be expecting Citizen Kane.

 

[Snow]

Well, you did call people stupid in the post for liking what was an enjoyable film. It's obviously a sci-fi/action flick, yet you seem to be expecting Citizen Kane.

No. I said they must be this or this or this or this. One of them was stupid. It probably applies to some people don't you think? Given that millions have seen it and lots of people are idiots. Not everyone though.

I expected it to be a sci-fi flick. But I was shocked at how shit it was. Entertainment value in it was lost on me.

 

[Snow]

It did sound a bit out of place considering the setting, and the delivery, but again, it didn't really bother me. I thought it was a nice little homage and the response from Caesar was a great moment.



Maybe he got the bus? Or stopped and asked a local. Or maybe the shelter is just around the corner. I honestly couldn't tell you, because they didn't tell us, but it didn't seem that big of an issue for me personally. In terms of furthering the plot, they needed Caesar to be in possession of the virus, to spread it to the other apes. So they had him go back home. It might raise the odd question if you want to be picky, but I can't say it really bothered me.

The CEO didn't arrive the morning after, he turned up as the apes were smashing the place up. They broke in, invaded the place, the CEO parked his car, walked into the facility and saw what was happening. They do have security, but I'm assuming they don't have procedures for a thousand scientifically enhanced apes breaking in lol. But maybe they should.



I'm kind of the opposite. If I want to see an intelligent movie, I don't go to see a big-budget summer blockbuster. When I watch that kind of film, I expect what I usually get, apart from a few exceptions like Nolan's recent efforts. That's not to say that I like stupidity, but the most important thing for me is the flow and pace of the film, which I thought was fine.

And I'm not familiar with the writers, but I thought Rupert Wyatt did a good job with The Escapist.



Money doesn't buy you a quality film though, it buys you special effects, set pieces, lighting equipment and engineers, quality cameras and filters, props etc. You need a good screenwriter and director to do the rest. So the budget doesn't affect my expectations.

You're completely right about the acting though, I'm a fan of James Franco, but this wasn't his best performance, and as you say, Freida Pinto was pointless and uninteresting. I would have been happy if her character had been taken out completely.

Well, you're obviously more thoughtful to why I hate this movie. Doesn't everyone have a movies they hate? I don't think I really had any. But I've explained a lot why I don't like it and I seem to come up with new things when I explain it further so I'm just going to stop.

Stay Alive and the Passion of the Christ. Hate those two movies. Now I have three

 

[jveezy]

If anything it was more of a social science film in a science fiction (I'd say even science fantasy instead of science fiction) context. At least that's the way I've always seen the Apes franchise.

 

[Randall Flagg]

Its a film that is there to be enjoyed as a fun pop corn movie with good FX etc.... Not disected limb from limb like snow has done.

A 7/10 film easy

 

[Snow]

Costs me 17 quid to go to the movies. I'd be livid spending that on a movie like that.

I'm going to dissect any movie I want if I choose too. If I have put some people off it I've done good work.

 

[Rood]

Do you agree with me that it would have been better had it had way less Franco and science lab and more chimpanzee perspective?

Not so sure really - the chimp bits have no dialogue at all so you need to mix it with the human stuff to keep the film running at a decent pace.
I think you were expecting something high brow when this is essentially a hollywood blockbuster - no wonder you were disappointed.

You should watch this - it will be more up your street:
Project Nim (2011) - IMDb

 

[jveezy]

Costs me 17 quid to go to the movies. I'd be livid spending that on a movie like that.

I'm going to dissect any movie I want if I choose too. If I have put some people off it I've done good work.

Well in that case read some reviews if you're spending 17 quid. I doubt many were praising the science in this film, so I doubt you would be misled into thinking it was anything besides what it actually was.

 

[Snow]

Not so sure really - the chimp bits have no dialogue at all so you need to mix it with the human stuff to keep the film running at a decent pace.
I think you were expecting something high brow when this is essentially a hollywood blockbuster - no wonder you were disappointed.

You should watch this - it will be more up your street:
Project Nim (2011) - IMDb

Cheers. Definitely liked the looks of that one.

It's not my expectations that disappointed me. I'm a nerd. I like discussing movies. I can very well enjoy a film riddled with plot holes. But there's got to be something I like. Too much in RotPofA that I didn't. Even the abbreviation looks stupid.

 

[Roy]

Thought it was alright, nothing special. Never seen the older versions.

Seeing as it is obvious right from the beginning what's going to happen I was surprised that it ended when it ended..I was looking forward to seeing apes vs humans and all that..

 

[Snow]

Well in that case read some reviews if you're spending 17 quid. I doubt many were praising the science in this film, so I doubt you would be misled into thinking it was anything besides what it actually was.

I didn't see it in a movie theater. Haven't gone in ages. With me living on Icelandic money in a foreign country there's no way I could afford that along with rent. I'd have to skip a meal. Coca Cola cost about the same in a grocery store as it would cost me in a movie theater in Iceland where everything is of course grossly overpriced.

I also don't bother with reviews. I don't want any spoilers at all. Hate to have to see previews in movies. I've got no idea what the person writing the review likes. I usually just imdb it and look at the director/actors and score there if I'm in doubt.
Reading a review would clearly not have done me any good in this instance.

Tree of Life gets decent reviews everywhere and an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. I though it was awful. It was an orgasm for cinematography enthusiasts and and appreciators but as a movie it had no entertainment value. But Malick also recently made New World so I know now that he's lost it.

 

[jveezy]

I didn't see it in a movie theater. Haven't gone in ages. With me living on Icelandic money in a foreign country there's no way I could afford that along with rent. I'd have to skip a meal. Coca Cola cost about the same in a grocery store as it would cost me in a movie theater in Iceland where everything is of course grossly overpriced.

I also don't bother with reviews. I don't want any spoilers at all. Hate to have to see previews in movies. I've got no idea what the person writing the review likes. I usually just imdb it and look at the director/actors and score there if I'm in doubt.
Reading a review would clearly not have done me any good in this instance.

Tree of Life gets decent reviews everywhere and an Oscar nomination for Best Picture. I though it was awful. It was an orgasm for cinematography enthusiasts and and appreciators but as a movie it had no entertainment value. But Malick also recently made New World so I know now that he's lost it.

Well you wanted a surprise and you got one. Sorry it wasn't one to your liking. I knew what I was getting into, as did a lot of people who spent their hard earned money, and paid for my ticket (not one that would be as expensive as yours because jesus feck 17 quid is a lot) and enjoyed it. That falls under caveat emptor, in my opinion. Thankfully all you wasted was time.

 

[Badunk]

I look forward to your review of Bambi, Snow, and how ludicrous it is to suggest a rabbit can talk, since it doesnt have the necessary biological requirements for such a feat. Never mind the billion-to-one shot that cameras just happened to be present the whole time to capture the phenomena.

 

[dumbo]

Seriously almost every point you made has almost no validity.

Chimp has no problem getting to the lab from his chimp place. In one night. Where did he get the directions from? How could he move so fast completely unnoticed?

Chimp breaks into a science lab. Since it contains one virus I assume it has a lot more shit in it. How. The feck. He just knows how to bypass security in a place he's never been to?

Chimp steals virus. No one notices at the lab. Why should they. They break protocols every day and don't mind their coworkers getting exposed to viruses and coincidentally get sick the next day.

You mentioned this twice in two different posts and it never even happens in the film. The film was hardly taxing to follow so why you have made up a whole new plot strand just to criticise the film is very strange.

And don't even attempt to watch Project Nim. If you struggle with fictional chimps solving the tower of Hanoi, then seeing a real chimp learning language will give you an aneurysm.

Don't get me started on people who post on the internet midway through watching a film. People seem to be losing all ability to concentrate on one specific task. Reminds me of Homer Simpson stopping midway through a meeting to chase a squirrel that catches his eye.