I would absolutely buy him. At our most effective our front three should be fluid anyway. Having Coutinho, Martial, Rashford as a fluid trident would be fecking awesome. Coutinho nominally off the left, Martial down the middle, and Rashford off the right. But Martial and Rashford would interchange all the time. That wonder goal Martial scored against Cardiff came down the inside right channel. It’s all about fluidity. I would 100% bin off Sanchez to China, and replace him with Coutinho, a 26 year old world class player used to a high pressing 3 system. Not to mention the threat he brings from outside the box.
Anyway, never fear lads, I had a dream last night and in it the Gods laid out a simple road map for world domination for a net spend of only 100m. Here is it, prepare to be impressed and not at all sceptical:
Out:
Sanchez goes to China for 40 million of your finest quids.
Lukaku returns to Everton for 80 million to form dream partnership with Richarlison.
Mata (China) cheers Juanito - 25 mil
Valencia goes to the Travellers yard aka Inter Milan for free.
Fellaini buggers off to turkey or, hilariously, Barça. Bargain at 15M. Becomes retrospective cult hero.
Fred slinks off back to the Ukraine for 40M. Only a small loss of 12M. Returns to form. Says Mourinho ruined him as a man in the Donetsk Times.
Jones to West Ham 18M. Because West Ham.
Bailly to Sevilla 28M. Still highly rated in Spain.
Rojo leaves for Everton, 14M, after a bidding war with West Ham. Crazy bastards love him.
Darmian finally moves to Juve for 15M. Somehow, yet inevitably, becomes world class.
Total sales: 275M
The club then make a number of simple, and not at all complicated, signings at reasonable prices:
Coutinho arrives for 100M. Says the rain in Manchester is better than the rain in Liverpool.
Another player form a former rival arrives in Jadon Sancho. Dortmund selling for 80m plus another 30m in preposterous (Martial style) add-ons.
Marco Veratti has enough of France and joins the mighty Red Devil’s in a 70M fee. Raiola makes a 30M commission.
Nicola Barella signs for 30M. Mainly because everyone says he’s the shit, and I’ve never seen him play.
We trigger Alderweireld’s 25m release clause, but somehow end up paying 40M.
Koulibaly is bought for 75M from Napoli to form a dream defensive partnership.
We don’t sign a right back.
Purchases: 405m
Net spend is only 130M. Wage bill is down.
On the first day of the season we line up thusly:
— Coutinho —- Martial —- Rashford —
————- Pogba ———- Veratti ————
———————— Matic ————————-
Shaw - Alderweireld - Koubilaly - Lindelof
———————- De Gea ————————
Subs: Romero, Dalot, Smalling, Barella, Herrera, Lingard, Sancho
We fecking win everything.
You’re welcome.