Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Eleven that would walk the Premier League

ArbeitervonWien

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Many of us pretend that technique matters more than size. Here's 11 reasons to believe it:

------------------------Higuita
Lahm-Ivan Cordoba-Cannavaro-R.Carlos
-------------Scholes--Shaqiri--Xavi
--------Messi--Maradona-A.Sanchez
 
Lazio Falconer pre-op as manager
 
Barthez
Lamptey - Mascherano - Lisandro - Wright
Torreira - Gilmour
Lennon - Enciso - Fraser
Nwaneri​

And they'd still do us at corners.
 
ArbeitervonWien said:
175cm for CBs and goalie. 170cm for the rest. I have no idea how much that is in your weird height system.
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5ft 7 - that’s not even that dwarfish. It’s a shortarse, yeah, but you need to go 5ft 4 for a proper dwarf (and 4ft 10 to be medically classified as dwarfism)
 
Is this an XI of players with teenie weenies? I’m confused.
 
Hrm, if you want to make this interesting, the cut off should be below the height of Pele and Messi (both 5'7) and an extra element would be: had played in English football, which would change things dramatically.

Anyway:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Campos
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Cordoba-------------------------Cannavaro
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lahm---------------------------------Passarella--------------------------R. Carlos
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Makelele-----------------Kante
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Maradona
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Messi---------------------------------Pele

1cm more and Baresi would be in there -_-
 
If we're truly putting height at a premium, Verratti (1.65) and possibly Giresse (1.63) should probably find a spot here.

Any number of defensive manlets (Baresi, Passarella, Ayala, etc.) were comfortably superior to cordoba, and sometimes shorter.

Iniesta is apparently 1.70 or taller now, but I genuinely struggle to believe that -- he always seemed noticeably shorter than messi (who may be slightly too tall to himself to make it).

Romario should by and large be in a league of his own up front. Yet another category where Aguero never quite measured up to him.
 
Played in England:

-------------------------------------------Navas
------------------------------Mascherano--------Licha
Irwin----------------------------------------------------------------Cashley
-----------------------------------------Makelele
--------------------------Kante----------------------Scholes
Alexis--------------------------------Owen-----------------------Hazard
 
Their clown car would never make it through Anfield.

1l0smh.gif
 
Querulous Megapode said:
If we're truly putting height at a premium, Verratti (1.65) and possibly Giresse (1.63) should probably find a spot here.

Any number of defensive manlets (Baresi, Passarella, Ayala, etc.) were comfortably superior to cordoba, and sometimes shorter.

Iniesta is apparently 1.70 or taller now, but I genuinely struggle to believe that -- he always seemed noticeably shorter than messi (who may be slightly too tall to himself to make it).

Romario should by and large be in a league of his own up front. Yet another category where Aguero never quite measured up to him.
Click to expand...
Yeah, that's great. All you have to do now, is putting those mentioned players into a formation.
 
Fortitude said:
Played in England:

-------------------------------------------Navas
------------------------------Mascherano--------Licha
Irwin----------------------------------------------------------------Cashley
-----------------------------------------Makelele
--------------------------Kante----------------------Scholes
Alexis--------------------------------Owen-----------------------Hazard
Click to expand...
Would be a nasty team!
 
ArbeitervonWien said:
Yeah, that's great. All you have to do now, is putting those mentioned players into a formation.
Click to expand...

Something like:
Higuita
Lahm Cannavaro Passarella Carlos
Verratti
Xavi Iniesta
Maradona Sivori
Romario
​
Bench: Casillas (just about), Alves, Amoros, Baresi, Ayala, Makelele, Davids, Kante, Modric, Scholes, Giresse, Houseman, Hassler, Littbarski, Ribery, Puskas, Greaves, Gerd Muller, etc. (space clearly being readily available)

I guess.

I'm sure i'm forgetting somemone important. Probably a full back. (Messi and Pele are a bit too tall for their position, in my highly arbitrary opinion.)

​
 
Fortitude said:
Played in England:

-------------------------------------------Navas
------------------------------Mascherano--------Licha
Irwin----------------------------------------------------------------Cashley
-----------------------------------------Makelele
--------------------------Kante----------------------Scholes
Alexis--------------------------------Owen-----------------------Hazard
Click to expand...

My team of small(er) odd balls and journeymen would smoke yours with speed and agility. My Swansea-era Goated midfield pair would give your Chelsea boys a good run for their money too.

------------------------------------------Barthez--------------------------------------
------------------------------Medel------------------Martinez--------------------
Lamptey------------------------------------------------------------------Malacia
------------------------------Allen----------------- Britton--------------------------
--------------------------------------------Zola-----------------------------------------
Lennon------------------------------Alvarez-------------------------------Dyer

Player-manager: Zola

My tallest outfield player and the only one over 5'7 is Martinez at a towering 5'9.
 
My 25 player squad (GK's/CB's/SW's as best position of at most 175cm, everyone else of at most 170cm; heights determined by in order Wikipedia and transfermarkt) would be as follows:

GK: Manuel Bento
GK/ST: Jorge Campos
GK: Rene Higuita
RB/LB: Victor Rodriguez Andrade
RB/LB/CM: Philipp Lahm
CB: Fabio Cannavaro
CB: Hector Chumpitaz
CB: Hans-Jurgen Dorner
CB: Severino Minelli
CB: Daniel Passarella
CB: Mustapha Zitouni
LB/RB: Antonio Benarrivo
LB: Roberto Carlos
DM: Zlatko Cajkovski
CM/LW: Andres Iniesta
CM/AM: Paul Scholes
CM/DM: Jean Tigana
CM: Xavi
AM/CM: Diego Maradona
RW: Garrincha
RW/LW/AM: Pierre Littbarski
RW/ST/LW: Allan Simonsen
F9/RW: Lionel Messi
ST: Uwe Seeler
LW/AM: Franck Ribery

My team would play a 4-3-3 formation based on Pep Guardiola's Barcelona with the following starting XI:

GK: Jorge Campos
RB: Philipp Lahm
CB: Hector Chumpitaz
CB: Daniel Passarella
LB: Roberto Carlos
DM: Zlatko Cajkovski
CM: Xavi
CM: Diego Maradona
RW: Pierre Littbarski
F9: Lionel Messi
LW: Andres Iniesta

For big matches (depending on opponent's threats), Andrade could replace Lahm; Cannavaro could replace Chumpitaz; and/or Benarrivo could replace Roberto Carlos. With different tactical choices other players may have gotten into my squad (including but not limited to Giampiero Combi, Berti Vogts, Ivan Cordoba, N'golo Kante, Bruno Conti, Edgar Davids, Rivellino, Kurt Hamrin, Jimmy Johnstone, Romario, Zoltan Czibor, and Francisco Gento).

Other Players Considered:
GK: Giampiero Combi
GK: Frantisek Planicka
SW: Armando Picchi
RB/CB/LB: Berti Vogts
CB: Ivan Cordoba
CB: Billy Wright
LB: Jordi Alba
LB: Bixente Lizarazu
LB: Ricardo Pavoni
DM/CM: N'golo Kante
DM/CB: Nobby Stiles
RM: Bruno Conti
CM: Osvaldo Ardiles
CM: Billy Bremmer
CM: Edgar Davids
CM: Gerson
CM: Johnny Giles
LM: Mario Zagallo
AM: Ricardo Bochini
AM/RW: Raymond Kopa
AM: Valentino Mazzola
AM/LW: Rivellino
AM: Zizinho
RW: Alcides Ghiggia
RW/ST: Kurt Hamrin
RW: Jimmy Johnstone
ST/AM: Giuseppe Meazza
ST: Romario
LW/RW: Zoltan Czibor
LW: Francisco Gento
LW: Raimundo Orsi
LW: Lennart Skoglund
 
Fortitude said:
Hrm, if you want to make this interesting, the cut off should be below the height of Pele and Messi (both 5'7) and an extra element would be: had played in English football, which would change things dramatically.

Anyway:

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Campos
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Cordoba-------------------------Cannavaro
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lahm---------------------------------Passarella--------------------------R. Carlos
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Makelele-----------------Kante
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Maradona
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Messi---------------------------------Pele

1cm more and Baresi would be in there -_-
Click to expand...
That was more or less how I took it, although I couldn't get shorter than Licha or Barthez at the time. But there's bound to be some really good 5'7 keepers from 40+ years ago when they weren't all drinking their milk. Wasn't Peter Bonetti at Chelsea quite short?

Also I'm shocked Lamptey isn't in everyone's XI. He's tiny enough that his ability is almost irrelevant for a team like this.
 
The opposite squad'd look something like:

Courtois
Van der Sar
Stam
Maicon
Van Dijk
Gerard Pique
Tony Adams
Ferdinand
Gareth Bale
Alpohnso Alves
Vieira
Rijkaard
Toure
Socrates
Ballack
Effenberg
Zidane
Kaka
Gullit
Rivaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo
Haaland
Ibrahimovic
Van Basten
Adriano
Drogba
Charles
Weah
Crouch

...I'm inclined to say they'd win.
 
didz said:
That was more or less how I took it, although I couldn't get shorter than Licha or Barthez at the time. But there's bound to be some really good 5'7 keepers from 40+ years ago when they weren't all drinking their milk. Wasn't Peter Bonetti at Chelsea quite short?

Also I'm shocked Lamptey isn't in everyone's XI. He's tiny enough that his ability is almost irrelevant for a team like this.
Click to expand...
Not that I’m aware of, but obviously depends on your cut off as keepers in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s weren’t particularly tall, or certainly not default towering, as a whole anyway.

I see your Lamptey and up you with a Santi! Who was actually really, really good, just not good enough to get ahead of a Kante or Makelele, but if the cut off becomes 5’6” then Scholes and a few others get the chop and he’s probably in the team (played in England). Zola also enters the fray then, probably.
 
Michaelf7777777 said:
My 25 player squad (GK's/CB's/SW's as best position of at most 175cm, everyone else of at most 170cm; heights determined by in order Wikipedia and transfermarkt) would be as follows:

GK: Manuel Bento
GK/ST: Jorge Campos
GK: Rene Higuita
RB/LB: Victor Rodriguez Andrade
RB/LB/CM: Philipp Lahm
CB: Fabio Cannavaro
CB: Hector Chumpitaz
CB: Hans-Jurgen Dorner
CB: Severino Minelli
CB: Daniel Passarella
CB: Mustapha Zitouni
LB/RB: Antonio Benarrivo
LB: Roberto Carlos
DM: Zlatko Cajkovski
CM/LW: Andres Iniesta
CM/AM: Paul Scholes
CM/DM: Jean Tigana
CM: Xavi
AM/CM: Diego Maradona
RW: Garrincha
RW/LW/AM: Pierre Littbarski
RW/ST/LW: Allan Simonsen
F9/RW: Lionel Messi
ST: Uwe Seeler
LW/AM: Franck Ribery

My team would play a 4-3-3 formation based on Pep Guardiola's Barcelona with the following starting XI:

GK: Jorge Campos
RB: Philipp Lahm
CB: Hector Chumpitaz
CB: Daniel Passarella
LB: Roberto Carlos
DM: Zlatko Cajkovski
CM: Xavi
CM: Diego Maradona
RW: Pierre Littbarski
F9: Lionel Messi
LW: Andres Iniesta

For big matches (depending on opponent's threats), Andrade could replace Lahm; Cannavaro could replace Chumpitaz; and/or Benarrivo could replace Roberto Carlos. With different tactical choices other players may have gotten into my squad (including but not limited to Giampiero Combi, Berti Vogts, Ivan Cordoba, N'golo Kante, Bruno Conti, Edgar Davids, Rivellino, Kurt Hamrin, Jimmy Johnstone, Romario, Zoltan Czibor, and Francisco Gento).

Other Players Considered:
GK: Giampiero Combi
GK: Frantisek Planicka
SW: Armando Picchi
RB/CB/LB: Berti Vogts
CB: Ivan Cordoba
CB: Billy Wright
LB: Jordi Alba
LB: Bixente Lizarazu
LB: Ricardo Pavoni
DM/CM: N'golo Kante
DM/CB: Nobby Stiles
RM: Bruno Conti
CM: Osvaldo Ardiles
CM: Billy Bremmer
CM: Edgar Davids
CM: Gerson
CM: Johnny Giles
LM: Mario Zagallo
AM: Ricardo Bochini
AM/RW: Raymond Kopa
AM: Valentino Mazzola
AM/LW: Rivellino
AM: Zizinho
RW: Alcides Ghiggia
RW/ST: Kurt Hamrin
RW: Jimmy Johnstone
ST/AM: Giuseppe Meazza
ST: Romario
LW/RW: Zoltan Czibor
LW: Francisco Gento
LW: Raimundo Orsi
LW: Lennart Skoglund
Click to expand...
Props, the effort you put into that post, I wouldn't even put into my Bachelor's thesis (maybe that's why I haven't got one)
 
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