No charity work, I like your style
If you were a top player, what ridiculous clause would you have in your contract?
- Thread starter horsechoker
- Start date
If I'm benched for 3 games in a row, it's obviously not working out. A pretty low release clause automatically kicks in and only goes away if I start 6 games in a row for every 3 (provided I'm fit).
I like this, but can't see any clubs ever going for it.
If you were on £200k a week (which would make you a bloody good player) and had 4 years left on your deal, another side could come in and sign you for just over £40m. Clubs would need to be paying £100m players half a million a week just to ensure their value incase of the release clause being met.
Would be a interesting what if to explore if someone like FIFA or UEFA implemented a rule like this. What would be the effect on wages and transfer fees? Would we see much lower transfer fees but much higher wages as a result?
I believe that Roy Keane had this in one of his United contracts. When Stam joined his wage was higher than Keane’s, so Keane’s was automatically increased to match Stam’s.
IIRC, Fergie also demanded his salary be matched to Rooney’s when he was given a big pay increase.
I'd insert a clause stating there are no clauses allowed and then sue the club for breach of contract.
My favorite contract clause ever was from the Rock band Van Halen. They had Article 126 in their agreements that stated there would be no brown M&M's in the backstage area. It's genius when you think about it. If there were, then they knew that they had to review all of the other requests because it was evident that they didn't read the agreement.
Birthday cake presentation with singalong every year.
Yeah the increase clauses aren't uncommon in sports. Mine is just different because I'd be willing to take a pay cut as well
That sounds just like the "I had to beat them to death with their own shoes" line from Wayne's World 2 only it was Ozzy Osbourne that was demanding all the M&M's were brown.
Art imitating life.
Yes but you'd then have to get your solicitor to specify a real horse, one in decent health and one worth a substantial amount of money.
On the downside if you'd had a brilliant season what would you do with 40-50 horses?
I'd have a clause that allows me to cull internet forum posters as and when I feel like it
No socials no interviews
Edit: no marketing campaigns just football
Edit: no marketing campaigns just football
I would ask for a certain amount of time (including weekends/matchdays) off per year that I can take without the club or manager being able to veto it.
Like those stories that were bouncing around that Neymar would always get suspended or “injured” around the time of his sister’s birthday so he could go back to Brazil for that, I would want to be able to get some weekends off here and there without having to jump through the hoops.
Like those stories that were bouncing around that Neymar would always get suspended or “injured” around the time of his sister’s birthday so he could go back to Brazil for that, I would want to be able to get some weekends off here and there without having to jump through the hoops.
Perhaps not ridiculous, but certainly unusual. If I'm a top player I'm signing 1 year contracts only.
Demands - club provides housing, knock it off my the pay package offered but I can't be arsed dealing with all that. Before joining I want a meeting with a list of properties presented to me. If they're furnished already thats's alright, if not I want some sort of interior deisgner there to suggest furniture ideas and whatnot. Everything ready to move in when I arrive.
If I want to chase money I can, want to chase trophies I can do that, go through a weird phase where I want to drop out and play in Nepal for a year for spiritual reasons I'll do that. Maybe I'll get a thing for women from a certain part of the world for a while and go there.
If I like where I am I'll extend a year at a time.
Demands - club provides housing, knock it off my the pay package offered but I can't be arsed dealing with all that. Before joining I want a meeting with a list of properties presented to me. If they're furnished already thats's alright, if not I want some sort of interior deisgner there to suggest furniture ideas and whatnot. Everything ready to move in when I arrive.
If I want to chase money I can, want to chase trophies I can do that, go through a weird phase where I want to drop out and play in Nepal for a year for spiritual reasons I'll do that. Maybe I'll get a thing for women from a certain part of the world for a while and go there.
If I like where I am I'll extend a year at a time.
Have you learned nothing?
Apparently not!
This just makes me think of the guy from Wayne’s world 2 who helped them put on Waynestock
that no one in the dressing room can have a bigger dick than me. i’ll run rings around the pre-academy lads.
A low value release clause just for United to buy me.
Full creative control of my announcement video.
- Every big chance missed deducts 5% of your weekly wages and every goal scored nets you +5% increase in your wages.
I bet you there'd be players staying after training to work on their finishing. Garnacho would be broke and Hojlund would be one of the richest players in the squad.
I bet you there'd be players staying after training to work on their finishing. Garnacho would be broke and Hojlund would be one of the richest players in the squad.
No top player would agree to that
What if two player on different clubs played the same position and had that very same clause? The clubs would get broke.
Forgot to add the +5 increase in wages when you score haha
I would never have to do any advertising or marketing stuff.