I'd have my own entrance music before every match.
If you were a top player, what ridiculous clause would you have in your contract?
- Thread starter horsechoker
- Start date
I'd have my own entrance music before every match.
The power to have the club accept any transfer bid I want.
Couldn't this be used to embezzle money?
An easy one would be I'd want a guarantee that I'll always be the highest paid at my position so if a rival player gets a new contract that pays more then automatic pay bump for me too.
Before every game, my socks must be delivered to the dressing room straight from the tumble dryer. Nice and warm.
I was thinking of it in terms of being able to go to any club I want, let's I get bored and my boyhood club wants to get me, 20m and the club has to accept it.
Get a % of stakes in the club after i retire or something
£69 release clause
every time I score a goal the club have to buy me a horse.
If you score a lot of goals that would be neigh-on-impossible to fulfill!
Hi, Lingard!
I would have a clause that allows me leak information to the press.
"When I play well, I get all the praise. When I play badly, the manager gets the sack."
Easy one this, I'd demand that I'd have December 15 - January 15 off. No games, no promoting, no training. Completely off to do what I like. No ifs, buts or maybes. It'd be set in stone in my contract and being as this is a hypothetical situation, I'm hypothetically one of the best players in the World and teams would bow to my demands just to have me at all.
I think as a top level footballer, especially in the PL, you can get burned out - having that insanely busy period off to recharge for the second half of the season would be a Godsend. Not so much in other leagues as a lot actually get a good break, but I'd not want to play in other leagues.
Plus I'd get to enjoy Christmas/New Year properly. Hic.
I think as a top level footballer, especially in the PL, you can get burned out - having that insanely busy period off to recharge for the second half of the season would be a Godsend. Not so much in other leagues as a lot actually get a good break, but I'd not want to play in other leagues.
Plus I'd get to enjoy Christmas/New Year properly. Hic.
Weekends off and a strict 5pm finish Monday to Friday.
My man!
And I'll have you know that in an alternate universe, where memes are allowed in the football forum, I'm bombarding you with gifs and clips from Office Space.
I wouldn’t want to play on a cold, windy night in Stoke.
My own birthday off
“If I’m performing poorly, I write the press briefing stating how I need some 100 million signings to help me be unlocked”
Afternoon Rasmus
The Luke Shaw clause - Working from home
The club has to release 25 live chickens onto the pitch at half time every other home game.
Oh great another United joke
The bold ruined the joke sorry
That I got to take all corners, penalties, freekicks, throws regardless of how shit I am at them. And I'd be captain.
If I was seeing one of the womens teams players, I would want to be able to shout "I love you" very loud across Carrington without anyone laughing at me
The club has to name a stand after me every time I score.
I was going to say something similar except for my own club. My clause would be to always be the highest paid player on the wage bill. But I’d allow the wages to be reduced as well as long as I’m still the highest paid.
I’d still be making absurd money, but I’d also help the club if they need to ship out and clear off some wages
Don’t tell the wife what you pay me
For every title won, 1% ownership stake in the club.
Taking a massive dump is a valid excuse for been late for training. Jlingz would have it for dabbing.
I always thought the term was top, top player.
Surely only Messi and Ronaldo could request this and be granted. I cant think of a current player that can demand this.
We'd have given this to Pogba, late-stage Ronaldo, Rashford etc.
I'm not playing on a Monday. I fecking hate Mondays.
And I might be a bit hungover on Sunday.
And I might be a bit hungover on Sunday.
A release clause equal to the salary value of the remainder of the contract. If the club thinks I am worth a higher fee than that, offer me a better contract.
Automatic week off for my sisters birthday every year and whenever a new Call of Duty is released.
Remote work.
Club cannot force me for anything else, apart from football.
So no promotional ads, visits, social media interactions, press conferences and so on. I would train, play and go home.
So no promotional ads, visits, social media interactions, press conferences and so on. I would train, play and go home.