Today we bought the ref but I expect that Spain will have already bought him so how can we ensure victory?
How can we cheat against Spain?
- Thread starter horsechoker
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Kane needs to up his diving by at least 20%. Not nearly enough posters complaining about it.
Poison paella
Can’t out-cheat Spain I’m afraid.
/Thread
Just do what needs to be done.
Water pistols loaded with piss.
Pisstols.
Drugs. Lots and lots of drugs
Get Germany to pass draconian child labour laws by Sunday so Lamine Yamal can't play
Promise to put a ban on travels from England to Ibiza
Sangria and smooch them with Salsa Dancing, it's the only way
Buy Catalonia, attack from Gibraltor.
Whichever teams throws their hands to their faces fastest and screams loudest wins.
We'd have to lie about Kane being hurt and not being able to play to save his ego and then send out 11 players who can move around
Back Catalonian independence right away
Be simpler to get him in the care of some kindly English family abroad for an hour or two. He's bound to go missing.
Time to play to Kane’s strengths. Full on aerial assault from Pickford with Kane backing into jumping players.
Trippier to rough up Lamine until he’s booked then bring Shaw on
Just study anytime Argentina plays and copy that. Out Spain the Spanish.
Petition for Zwayer to referee the final.
North Sea shellfish in their paella.
Put the clocks back so the Spaniards think it’s siesta time and they miss the kickoff
Put the clocks back so the Spaniards think it’s siesta time and they miss the kickoff
Hire Sir Alex as a consultant and let him figure out which referees to pay next
Scottish actually out-Spained the Spanish, need to get McTom on the coaching staff
Park the bus, give Yamal & Nico no space, spray Route 1 passes directly into their box and have Kane, Saka, Foden, Jude go down like they're shot. Outroll the Spaniards whilst screaming like a banshee... More rolls more pens.
Not fair to Spain. Pickford’s hands are about 17cm from his face.
The Spanish bribe the referee, so we bribe the Spanish.
Steal Yamal’s exams.
Accuse the ref of matchfixing 20 years ago because he once ate a chocolate bar and Gatorade from the home team's pantry. Especially if it's that French Trossard doppelgänger whose eyebags betray a few skeletons in the closet.
Draft in some Italians
There's only one way to beat those tapas of twats. Change the sport. They'll turn up expecting football, but we're going to give them cricket. Yamal won't know what to do.
Let them bowl first to really feck them up.
Let them bowl first to really feck them up.
Could try a negative approach instead of the free flowing attacking football and only resort to counter attacks…
This is the way
Well, Palmer knows every little weakness and tendency of Cucurella.
Ye should go to whatever hotel they are staying at and spend the night outside it beeping car horns to keep them awake.
Send your wives as tribute, to tire them out
Time for the English "Onlyfans" types to get themselves into the Spanish team hotel tonight and make hay with as many of the team as possible leading to Spanish players being sidelined with various strains of crotch-rot / rashes / infestations / itching and inflammation.
Uefa Officials are called to the Spanish Hotel by Saturday morning and (following advice from WHO officials) declare the entire Spanish team require Quarantine to be maintained for a period of 40 days. England are declared the winners by default and fly home to a tumultuous reception.
The "onlyfans" volunteers are smuggled onto Rockall island by UK special forces - to complete their quarantine period.
Government papers on the affair are released in 2104 under the 80 years rule.
The events are depicted in the AI generated streaming film...."Now it can be told 2"
Bring Howard Webb back out from retirement and tell SAF to give him a call