Football phrases that grinds your gears

Not a phrase but sick of listening to pundits being paid to state their opinion then basically just say what the average football fan knows.

Like hearing them say stuff like this team or that team needs Haaland, well no shit Sherlock, he is one of the best young players in the world. Pundits getting paid to spout such basic stuff is baffling.
 
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Tyrion said:
I disagree with that. I think they're the best football writers around. I'd much rather them than the other writers who play amatuer psychologists with footballers they barely know.
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What do you disagree with? Their tactical analysis is often a combination of eloquently written ideas that have been stolen from other folk or, better yet, didn’t even exist in the first place. They’re guilty of identifying ‘patterns of play’ that the likes of Bielsa and Guardiola likely never knew about in the first place. There is a place for what they do, but I think much of it is disingenuous and superfluous.

I prefer to read genuine football stories as opposed that kind of content but horses for courses, I guess.
 
Kag said:
What do you disagree with? Their tactical analysis is often a combination of eloquently written ideas that have been stolen from other folk or, better yet, didn’t even exist in the first place. They’re guilty of identifying ‘patterns of play’ that the likes of Bielsa and Guardiola likely never knew about in the first place. There is a place for what they do, but I think much of it is disingenuous and superfluous.

I prefer to read genuine football stories as opposed that kind of content but horses for courses, I guess.
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I disagree that they're just inventing their ideas. I think they're the only two who focus on actual football tactics that most journalists are ignorant of and most coaches dont bother talking about in interviews so it seems like they speak their own language. I think they back their points up with statistics far more than most journalists as well.
 
Potential banana skin.
Ie. Any game played against a team outside the big six
 
"bad refereeing decisions don't matter because we didn't play well/create enough chances"
 
Tyrion said:
I disagree with that. I think they're the best football writers around. I'd much rather them than the other writers who play amatuer psychologists with footballers they barely know.
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I've read a couple of Wilson's books and quite enjoyed them, but lately I find his writing insufferable. Every fecking article seems to mention Lobonovski and post-Cruyfian schools of thought. And he is loathe to ever give Ole even a shred of credit.
 
Pundits, especially English ones, proclaiming a certain player in the PL is ' the best player in the world currently' when you know damn well that those particular pundits don't watch football beyond our shores

It has always irked me.
 
Can't remember if I mentioned it, but I hate the whole 'phases of play' nonsense.
 
Regardless of whether or not they are legitimate terms, False 9 and Inverted Winger are also fecking annoying.
 
Kag said:
What do you disagree with? Their tactical analysis is often a combination of eloquently written ideas that have been stolen from other folk or, better yet, didn’t even exist in the first place. They’re guilty of identifying ‘patterns of play’ that the likes of Bielsa and Guardiola likely never knew about in the first place. There is a place for what they do, but I think much of it is disingenuous and superfluous.

I prefer to read genuine football stories as opposed that kind of content but horses for courses, I guess.
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I couldn't agree with you more.
 
jem said:
Can't remember if I mentioned it, but I hate the whole 'phases of play' nonsense.
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overlappingphase1.jpg


You'd love this image.
 
Anytime someone starts a sentence with the words ' Look' or ' Listen'
It's arrogant and patronising
I also hate when the words ' in terms of' are uttered, I'm looking at you Brendan Rodgers
 
I feel like "lack of plan B" is often just code for "they lost and I have no idea why exactly".
 
do.ob said:
I feel like "lack of plan B" is often just code for "they lost and I have no idea why exactly".
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I can't agree with this.

Plan B is used to determine an alternative method of winning or changing the course of a game.
If the team on the back foot play the same way constantly throughout a game with no change then it's clear that team did not have a 'plan B'.

Southampton recently is a case in point.
Also Pochettinos Spurs were a classic case of this. A team designed around one way of playing without ever really changing.
 
jem said:
Regardless of whether or not they are legitimate terms, False 9 and Inverted Winger are also fecking annoying.
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False 9 is made up as far as I'm concerned, it essentially a number 10 playing as both a 9 and 10.
Really nothing 'false' about it is there!!
 
Champ said:
False 9 is made up as far as I'm concerned, it essentially a number 10 playing as both a 9 and 10.
Really nothing 'false' about it is there!!
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Not true. Ricky Lambert is a false 9 in true sense.

PS: Credit to RAWK for the joke.
 
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Coward or cowardly, not sure it’s a modern phrase or just a red cafe phrase, but gets on my nerves all the same.
 
"Fergie would have signed him" / "typical Fergie signing"

Look, both are phrases that certainly carried weight at one stage. However, they're thrown around here like confetti making them totally redundant.
 
I can't remember if I added it to the thread or not (my time on red cafe is one continuous blur) but:

INDIVIDUAL BRILLIANCE

There has been no great team in history (cue someone proving me wrong...) that didn't rely on some degree of individual brilliance.

That, and it's a buzzword by bores who want to showcase that they have any grasp of tactics.
 
jem said:
I've read a couple of Wilson's books and quite enjoyed them, but lately I find his writing insufferable. Every fecking article seems to mention Lobonovski and post-Cruyfian schools of thought. And he is loathe to ever give Ole even a shred of credit.
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Yeah sometimes I wished he explained himself more. He keeps mentioning German pressing and suggesting it might be better than the Spanish style but I dont know the difference.
 
M Bison said:
Coward or cowardly, not sure it’s a modern phrase or just a red cafe phrase, but gets on my nerves all the same.
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Yeah I hate that one. I also find 'disgusting' to be overused in these parts.
 
One that I'm glad will be making an almost immediate comeback is:
"Next year is gonna be our year," said in a Scouse accent.

We know it's wrong, because next year is gonna be our year.
 
‘Even if you had two keepers in goal they wouldn’t have saved that.’

actually they probably would have cause one of them would be standing on the side where the ball went, feck off
 
MemphisDepay said:
‘Even if you had two keepers in goal they wouldn’t have saved that.’

actually they probably would have, feck off
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Might not have though. They might have dived at each other and end up concussed as the ball fizzed into the onion bag
 
Not a football specific statement, but I notice more and more pundits using "helluva" more often than I can ever remember.

I get such an irrational feeling of annoyance whenever I hear a football pundit use it
 
Another common one on here is “showing some ambition” in reference to spending money.

As in, if we don’t spend 250m in the summer, it means our board/owners have no ambition

:rolleyes:
 
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