Oh, Eric, if only Chairman Levy wasn't such a liar,
And could match you in terms of being solid, reliable and a tryer.
We could wrap this deal up and have ourselves a midfield deep lier,
A covering engine to compliment the slick oiled Pogba tyre.
Instead we must twiddle frustrated, recline by the lyre,
Waiting for Mr Woodward to make Mr Levy tire
Of trying to take your absurd cost price higher and higher,
Dragging this interminable shite out right down to the wire,
So that even Jim White thinks your taking the piss.