To be perfectly honest, United have always been a huge emotional anchor for me. They are the only thing linking me to my long deceased father, and the only happy memory I have of a childhood with a man that otherwise did me irreparable and untold harm.
For almost my entire life I have had an emotional connection with the club that transcends any rational explanation. They have carried me through the bleakest of times in so many different ways, and it has been my privilege to suffer with them even when things weren’t going well on the pitch.
Some years back I had a daughter. She’s still young (9), and at some point I had to recognise the hold the fortunes of the team had over my moods at the weekend. There’s no excuse for skipping time playing with your kid to watch the game, only then to be cranky and moody for the rest of the day if the performance and result was horrible. My family themselves commented on the fate of the weekend resting on the result of the game.
It didn’t take me long to realise how sad and pathetic that was. I’ve given a lifetime of emotional investment to this club, but my daughter coming into my life has completely changed where that energy goes. As it should be. She deserves the best of me, all the time, not just when United win.
So, a few years back I took a significant step back from allowing United to unbalance me emotionally. I now view the club through much more objective and analytical eyes, and I couldn’t be happier for it. I’ve only watched one game so far this season, the home opener, and I saw enough there to know what this season would hold. A dispassionate assessment that saw an inevitable repeat of the same mistakes as last season, with no midfield, baffling instructions, and a manager embarrassingly out of his depth. I played Lego with my daughter this morning instead of watching the match. It was great. I don’t owe the club any more than what I’ve already given them, which emotionally is everything, and financially quite a lot.
I’ll always love and support United but I’ll never let them affect my life again. The stakes are too high now, and at the end of the day, it’s just football. Less enthralling, less romantic by the hour. I spend more time talking about amortisation schedules these days, than I do any artistry in the game - which has all but been eradicated by modern coaching.
United will, in my humble opinion, continue to make excellent strides off the pitch in terms of recruitment, and infrastructure development under Ineos - an interesting case study to follow that will take shape and yield fruit over the course of several years. United will also, again in my humble opinion, continue to be a proverbial laughing stock and debacle on the field for as long as Ten Hag remains manager. There will be the odd false dawn, there will be endless circular debates about injuries, patience, structure, scapegoating players etc etc, but my assessment is that under his leadership United will be a complete non-entity in the league. We’ll score a frightening low amount of goals, we’ll experience several more chastening humiliations against rivals, and we’ll continue to operate with a tactical naivety that beggars belief.
Hence, I will likely watch only a very small percentage of games this season, subject to convenience, opponent, and form. I’m not getting invested, or letting myself be affected by an exercise in futility. I follow games remotely, through here, mbm’s, highlights etc; but I’m not fully checking back in until we have a new manager. I am THAT convinced that it’s a waste of time otherwise.
I’m too old, given too much, and have too many other responsibilities - practical, moral and emotional - to do differently at this point.
I do advise that some people who take this stuff really hard - that used to be me too - learn to step away and take a breath. Nothing is forever, and if Ineos keep doing the right things, then better times lay ahead. What you don’t want to do, not really, not in your heart, is turn on individuals and become toxic and hateful towards players. It’s ugly and we are better than that. They are in an impossible situation under leadership that is fundamentally unequipped and catastrophic for consistently competitive performances. Nothing on the field will change, until the manager changes. No amount of signings, no amount of abuse thrown at players, none of it will change that.
And what definitely won’t change that, is allowing your anger, frustration or despair over abject and humiliating performances like today, spill over into your personal life. To the decisions you make, to what you feel inside, and to how you treat those around you. So a caring word of advice from me to you all, is to remember not to carry that negative emotion with you out into your world. It’s never worth it.
