Sinister little magnets
Davo's eczema aardvark colander
- Thread starter Plechazunga
- Start date
And ants.
i'd rather be put away for being a poof than for the ignomy of interfering with Aardvaarks 
I'll get you for this.....
You and your bleedin dictionary
You and your bleedin dictionary
Nialler said:
Davo'll get put away for both. If they ever catch him.
Which they will if they hang around lay-bys in Pontypridd.
That's if their skin isn't crawling too much to run.
Davo said:
it's a fair cop
Aardvaark is one of the first words listed in the dictionaryDavo said:
Nialler said:i'd rather be put away for being a poof than for the ignomy of interfering with Aardvaarks
Poof
Nialler said:Aardvaark is one of the first words listed in the dictionary
Aparently they also constitute a genus of their own. That's interesting, isn't it?
Nialler said:Aardvaark is one of the first words listed in the dictionary
It won't be in Pletchs' when I've finished with him...
Not that he'll be able to read it anyway....what with ie being up his arse.....through a colander
sick cnutDavo said:
Davo said:
yuk.
to be honest I'm reporting that. In the 'reason' bar, I'm putting 'BECAUSE IT'S feckING OUTRAGEOUSLY FOUL TO THREATEN TO RAM YOURSELF UP SOMEONE'S ARSE THROUGH A COLANDER.' Even to think of such a thing, Jesus.
And to think I was even restrained enough not to mention what he does for his scrotal warts...
Does it involve piano wire and small rodents?Plechazunga said:
he started off with small rodents then worked his way up to Aardvaarks, its disgusting, to think it all began with a picture in Cosmo magazine, sent him into a right sexual frenzy, no mate, I'm afraid he became desensitised to small rodents a long time ago, he's banned from all Zoos you knowkf said:
Plechazunga said:
There is even a species only found in Wales that has formed a strange symbiotic relationship with humans.
Ectumray anditbayi I think it is called.
Wibble said:
Does that mean "Davo-Sheep" or "Davo"?
I must say, this is the most stimulating threads I've read in years.
WeasteDevil said:
I'm not as fluent in the Welsh diallect of pig-latin as Wibbs obviously is but even my limited understanding leads me top deduce that Ectumray anditbayi roughly translates as arse bandit.
You know it's gone too far when the thread turns Weaste on though
Bury Red said:I'm not as fluent in the Welsh diallect of pig-latin as Wibbs obviously is but even my limited understanding leads me top deduce that Ectumray anditbayi roughly translates as arse bandit.
You know it's gone too far when the thread turns Weaste on though
Bury Red said:I'm not as fluent in the Welsh diallect of pig-latin as Wibbs obviously is but even my limited understanding leads me top deduce that Ectumray anditbayi roughly translates as arse bandit.
You know it's gone too far when the thread turns Weaste on though
You still missing your black pud?
WeasteDevil said:You still missing your black pud?
Don't drag me into this perverted malarky dog-boy
I do though. I actually got into a wierd things the Chinese eat conversation with one of my colleagues a few weeks back and he cited black pudding as evidence that the English eat equally wierd shit.
Given that until SARS many restaurants had pangolin (a close enough relative to give Davo's aardvark even more cause for alarm, Davo's arse or Spinoza's plate
) on the menu, I thought that was a bit rich.Bury Red said:Don't drag me into this perverted malarky dog-boy
I do though. I actually got into a wierd things the Chinese eat conversation with one of my colleagues a few weeks back and he cited black pudding as evidence that the English eat equally wierd shit.
Given that until SARS many restaurants had pangolin (a close enough relative to give Davo's aardvark even more cause for alarm, Davo's arse or Spinoza's plate
You've always made me laugh, fantastic wit!
You going back for Christmas? To BP land I mean, or is it pangolin and plum duff for dinner?
WeasteDevil said:
You've always made me laugh, fantastic wit!
You going back for Christmas? To BP land I mean, or is it pangolin and plum duff for dinner?
Most definitely the pangolin for me. Too feckin' cold back home at Christmas and I'd use a shed load of leave that I don't have left as we only get the statutory hol's here with the big break saved for Chinese New Year.
Nice brisk 22°C out here now, I've actually been forced to break out a light jacket but shan't be deterred from heading down to the beach for mulled wine and mince pies on Christmas Day, had a junk trip planned but it's fallen through
Bury Red said:heading down to the beach for mulled wine and mince pies on Christmas Day, had a junk trip planned but it's fallen through
Are those beaches safe? And no Sherry?
WeasteDevil said:
Are those beaches safe? And no Sherry?
Perfectly safe, not a Welshman or an Aardvark in sight. I wouldn't swim off the one closest to us (never really an option on Christmas Day anyway) but there's some decent beaches further out which is only to be expected in a sub tropical country that's 90% countryside and coastline, the 10% they have built on is so daunting that most people miss the rest though.
If we'd gone out on the junk, we'd have probably headed for one of the secluded beaches for a dip and a spin in the speedboat but lack of numbers have scuttled the trip. As for the sherry, no thankyou. Mother in-law tackle that, I'll stick to the champagne and mulled wine as we shiver on the beach.
Bury Red said:
I hate you! Can I come? I'll bring some BP, Bury ones too!
WeasteDevil said:I hate you! Can I come? I'll bring some BP, Bury ones too!
The beach 5 minutes stroll from chez Bury
Tai Long Wan out in the New Territories, better for a dip and a day out.
Swimming definitely not recommended, no matter how trolleyed you are on Christmas Day Weastie
Not meaning to make you jealous or anything.
Bury Red said:
The beach 5 minutes stroll from chez Bury
Tai Long Wan out in the New Territories, better for a dip and a day out.
Swimming definitely not recommended, no matter how trolleyed you are on Christmas Day Weastie
Not meaning to make you jealous or anything.
Well I'd rather spend Christmas by the Manchester Ship Canal than in two tiny white boxes with red crosses in them.
Actually hang on a minute...
Bury Red said:
Close enough. Rectum bandit with an i for authenticity.
So what does this one say?
Urybay Edray oveslay ackblay uddingpay
Urybay Edray oveslay ackblay uddingpay
Eateway Evilsday isway away ervertpay
And this one is especially for Davo
Cachu bant ti cachu mes
Cachu bant ti cachu mes
I'll have you two black pudding eaters know that pangolin is a tasty, delicately flavoured, though endangered dish.
They don't breed well in captivity or I'd still be eating them.
They're wasted up Davo's arse.
They don't breed well in captivity or I'd still be eating them.
They're wasted up Davo's arse.
spinoza said:I'll have you two black pudding eaters know that pangolin is a tasty, delicately flavoured, though endangered dish.
They don't breed well in captivity or I'd still be eating them.
They're wasted up Davo's arse.
I don't know what'll worry Davo more, the thought of competition for his mammal of choice or the thought of you taking a renewed interest in his arse Bury Red said:
I have never been interested in Davo's arse in my life
Those Swedish birds in the other thread though... I wouldn't mind treating them to a pangolin, aardvark, or even two...
Scuse me a minute...
sprinkle some Ant seed down their blouses and they'll be eating out of your handspinoza said:Those Swedish birds in the other thread though... I wouldn't mind treating them to a pangolin, aardvark, or even two...
Even better, sprinkle Ant seed in your hand and they'll eat out your blouse
Plechazunga said:
never thought of that, an Armadildo in the hand is worth two in the bush
Bury Red said:
Swimming definitely not recommended, no matter how trolleyed you are on Christmas Day Weastie
Not meaning to make you jealous or anything.
I recognise that place!
Nialler said:
"Armadildo" - brilliant! that's a genuinely great marketing idea, dildos shaped like armadillos, we'd make a fortune.
Only problem is Davo's demand would overcome supply...