Afonso Alves

You just know with a name like Afonso Alves (there's an L missing in there somewhere) he was a steaming pile of shite. Would take Benjani over any day if there ever was a scramble for a shit striker.
 
Girl I know spent the night in his house after meeting him in a pub day before a FA cup match with Everton (she was 16 at the time I believe). He didn't travel to the match cos he was ill according to Boro. Terrible attitude