"The first great qualitative change Salman [Rushdie] brought was in the level of the after dinner word games. I have already offered the excuse that the puerility of these was at least a muscle-building dress rehearsal for a higher form.
You may think it absurd or pathetic, for example, to see what happens when you subtract the word 'heart' from any well-known title or saying and then substitute the word 'dick'. Some of the results are in fact mildly funny ('I Left My Dick in San Francisco', 'Bury My Dick at Wounded Knee', 'Dick of Darkness', 'The Dick of the Matter' and so forth) and others can recur to one at absurd moments ('Dickbreak Hotel', 'The Sacred Dick', 'The Dick and Stomach of a King', 'The Jack of Dicks', 'An Affair of the Dick', 'The Dick Has Its Reasons, 'The Dick Is a Lonely Hunter') where they even threaten to be apposite.
You can - I warn you - spend years working on a coal-face like this before hitting an unlooked-for seam. How were we to know that Woody Allen, when questioned about his decision to run off with his adopted teenage daughter, would so tonelessly say: 'The heart wants what it wants.'
Much the same can be said about changing the 'love' (as a verb, that is) to 'feck'. Then you can get to 'The fecked One', 'The Man Who fecked Women', 'feck, feck Me Do', 'She fecks You', 'fecked Not Wisely But Too Well', 'feck Thy Neighbour', and numberless similar instances of harmless pleasure."
Das ist gut, ja?
You may think it absurd or pathetic, for example, to see what happens when you subtract the word 'heart' from any well-known title or saying and then substitute the word 'dick'. Some of the results are in fact mildly funny ('I Left My Dick in San Francisco', 'Bury My Dick at Wounded Knee', 'Dick of Darkness', 'The Dick of the Matter' and so forth) and others can recur to one at absurd moments ('Dickbreak Hotel', 'The Sacred Dick', 'The Dick and Stomach of a King', 'The Jack of Dicks', 'An Affair of the Dick', 'The Dick Has Its Reasons, 'The Dick Is a Lonely Hunter') where they even threaten to be apposite.
You can - I warn you - spend years working on a coal-face like this before hitting an unlooked-for seam. How were we to know that Woody Allen, when questioned about his decision to run off with his adopted teenage daughter, would so tonelessly say: 'The heart wants what it wants.'
Much the same can be said about changing the 'love' (as a verb, that is) to 'feck'. Then you can get to 'The fecked One', 'The Man Who fecked Women', 'feck, feck Me Do', 'She fecks You', 'fecked Not Wisely But Too Well', 'feck Thy Neighbour', and numberless similar instances of harmless pleasure."
Das ist gut, ja?
