Who would direct it and what type of film should it be?
Film Who would you cast in a HorseChoker film?
- Thread starter Ajr
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In the latest episode of the United Hour Podcast, Nik and Imran are here to talk about a frustrating 2 points dropped at Crystal Palace. They then discuss the regeneration of Old Trafford. Finally, Nik is joined by special guest Michael Statham from the Football Oranje podcast - who gives us a more in depth look at our EL opposition FC Twente, and then runs through the (many) Dutch connections currently at United.
Elon Musk
Sarah Jessica Parker as "The Horse"
Didn't they already make a movie?
Maybe a feminist who gets trampled by a horse.
Sounds like an Adam Sandler comedy, so let's cast Adam Sandler.
Oh cool, I didn't know Adam Sandler posted on the caf.
I've written a plot for my film. I believe this to be the greatest plot ever written
Set in Albuquerque, New Mexico, between 2008 and 2010, Horsechoker follows Horse Choker, a modest high school chemistry teacher who transforms into a ruthless kingpin in the local methamphetamine drug trade, driven to financially provide for his family after being diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.
Near Christmas, drug baron Sollozzo asks Horsechoker to invest in his narcotics business and for protection from the law. Horsechoker declines, citing that involvement in narcotics would alienate his political connections. Suspicious of Sollozzo's partnership with the Tattaglia crime family, Horsechoker sends his enforcer Luca Brasi to meet with the Tattaglias. Brasi is garroted to death during the meeting. Later, enforcers gun down Horsechoker and kidnap Hagen. With Choker's first-born Sonny now in command, Sollozzo pressures Hagen to persuade Sonny to accept the narcotics deal. Sonny retaliates for Brasi's death with a hit on Bruno Tattaglia. Horsechoker survives the shooting and is visited in the hospital by Michael, who finds him unprotected after NYPD officers on Sollozzo's payroll cleared out Vito's guards. Michael thwarts another attempt on his father's life but is beaten by corrupt police captain Mark McCluskey. Sollozzo and McCluskey request to meet with Michael and settle the dispute. Michael feigns interest and agrees to meet, but hatches a plan with Sonny and Choker capo Clemenza to kill them and go into hiding. Michael meets Sollozzo and McCluskey at a Bronx restaurant; after retrieving a handgun planted in the bathroom by Clemenza, he shoots both men dead.
R2-D2 plays Leia's full message, in which she begs Horsechoker to take the Death Star plans to her home planet of Alderaan and give them to her father, a fellow veteran, for analysis. Although Luke initially declines Horsechoker offer to accompany him to Alderaan and learn the ways of the Force, he is left with no choice after discovering that Imperial stormtroopers have killed his aunt and uncle and destroyed their farm in their search for the droids. Traveling to a cantina in Mos Eisley to search for transport, Luke and Horsechoker hire Han Solo, a smuggler with a price on his head due to his debt to local mobster Jabba the Hutt. Pursued by stormtroopers, Obi-Wan, Luke, R2-D2, and C-3PO flee Tatooine with Han and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca on their ship the Millennium Falcon.
A weary and battered Horsechoker finds Holly with Gruber and his remaining henchman. Horsechoker surrenders to Gruber and is about to be shot, but grabs his concealed service pistol taped to his back and uses his last two bullets to wound Gruber and kill his accomplice. Gruber crashes through a window but grabs onto Holly's wristwatch and makes a last-ditch attempt to kill the pair before Horsechoker unclasps the watch and Gruber falls to his death. Outside, Karl ambushes Horsechoker and Holly but is shot dead by Powell. Holly punches Thornburg when he attempts to interview Horsechoker before Argyle crashes through the parking garage door in the limo and drives Horsechoker and Holly away together
Set in Albuquerque, New Mexico, between 2008 and 2010, Horsechoker follows Horse Choker, a modest high school chemistry teacher who transforms into a ruthless kingpin in the local methamphetamine drug trade, driven to financially provide for his family after being diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer.
Near Christmas, drug baron Sollozzo asks Horsechoker to invest in his narcotics business and for protection from the law. Horsechoker declines, citing that involvement in narcotics would alienate his political connections. Suspicious of Sollozzo's partnership with the Tattaglia crime family, Horsechoker sends his enforcer Luca Brasi to meet with the Tattaglias. Brasi is garroted to death during the meeting. Later, enforcers gun down Horsechoker and kidnap Hagen. With Choker's first-born Sonny now in command, Sollozzo pressures Hagen to persuade Sonny to accept the narcotics deal. Sonny retaliates for Brasi's death with a hit on Bruno Tattaglia. Horsechoker survives the shooting and is visited in the hospital by Michael, who finds him unprotected after NYPD officers on Sollozzo's payroll cleared out Vito's guards. Michael thwarts another attempt on his father's life but is beaten by corrupt police captain Mark McCluskey. Sollozzo and McCluskey request to meet with Michael and settle the dispute. Michael feigns interest and agrees to meet, but hatches a plan with Sonny and Choker capo Clemenza to kill them and go into hiding. Michael meets Sollozzo and McCluskey at a Bronx restaurant; after retrieving a handgun planted in the bathroom by Clemenza, he shoots both men dead.
R2-D2 plays Leia's full message, in which she begs Horsechoker to take the Death Star plans to her home planet of Alderaan and give them to her father, a fellow veteran, for analysis. Although Luke initially declines Horsechoker offer to accompany him to Alderaan and learn the ways of the Force, he is left with no choice after discovering that Imperial stormtroopers have killed his aunt and uncle and destroyed their farm in their search for the droids. Traveling to a cantina in Mos Eisley to search for transport, Luke and Horsechoker hire Han Solo, a smuggler with a price on his head due to his debt to local mobster Jabba the Hutt. Pursued by stormtroopers, Obi-Wan, Luke, R2-D2, and C-3PO flee Tatooine with Han and his Wookiee co-pilot Chewbacca on their ship the Millennium Falcon.
A weary and battered Horsechoker finds Holly with Gruber and his remaining henchman. Horsechoker surrenders to Gruber and is about to be shot, but grabs his concealed service pistol taped to his back and uses his last two bullets to wound Gruber and kill his accomplice. Gruber crashes through a window but grabs onto Holly's wristwatch and makes a last-ditch attempt to kill the pair before Horsechoker unclasps the watch and Gruber falls to his death. Outside, Karl ambushes Horsechoker and Holly but is shot dead by Powell. Holly punches Thornburg when he attempts to interview Horsechoker before Argyle crashes through the parking garage door in the limo and drives Horsechoker and Holly away together
James Corden in at least two key roles please
We don't have the budget for imax unfortunately
@Ramshock as himself and Shergar as the horse.
Guest starring @TheReligion running around like a headless chicken trying to solve the crime.
Good idea and very cheap because we only have to pay 1 camera person to follow him as he does his normal job.
Don't even need to pay anyone. Charlie Veitch already does that for free.
He's in charge of catering
sensible. keeps most of the budget for other things.
Tom Green for obvious reasons.
James Corden sat in his office, staring out the window at the bustling city below. He was supposed to be working on his next big project, but his mind kept wandering to the strange word that kept popping up in his thoughts: horsechoker. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was a story there, just waiting to be told.
Just then, his assistant burst into the room. "James, we've got a problem. The horsechoker plant is spreading out of control, and it's threatening to take over the city!"
James was shocked. "Horsechoker? I've never even heard of it."
"It's a rare and dangerous plant," his assistant explained. "It wraps its vines around the necks of horses and chokes them to death. And now it's spreading like wildfire."
James knew he had to do something. He gathered a team of experts and set out to find a solution to the horsechoker problem. They searched high and low, but no one could figure out how to stop the plant's rapid growth.
Just when all hope seemed lost, James had an idea. He remembered an old legend about a special herb that could neutralize the horsechoker's deadly power. He and his team set off on a perilous journey to find the herb, braving wild animals and treacherous terrain.
Finally, they found it. They gathered as much of the herb as they could and raced back to the city. They sprayed the herb over every inch of the horsechoker plants, and just like that, the threat was neutralized.
The people of the city cheered as James and his team were hailed as heroes. From that day on, the horsechoker plant was no longer a danger, and James Corden had saved the day.
Just then, his assistant burst into the room. "James, we've got a problem. The horsechoker plant is spreading out of control, and it's threatening to take over the city!"
James was shocked. "Horsechoker? I've never even heard of it."
"It's a rare and dangerous plant," his assistant explained. "It wraps its vines around the necks of horses and chokes them to death. And now it's spreading like wildfire."
James knew he had to do something. He gathered a team of experts and set out to find a solution to the horsechoker problem. They searched high and low, but no one could figure out how to stop the plant's rapid growth.
Just when all hope seemed lost, James had an idea. He remembered an old legend about a special herb that could neutralize the horsechoker's deadly power. He and his team set off on a perilous journey to find the herb, braving wild animals and treacherous terrain.
Finally, they found it. They gathered as much of the herb as they could and raced back to the city. They sprayed the herb over every inch of the horsechoker plants, and just like that, the threat was neutralized.
The people of the city cheered as James and his team were hailed as heroes. From that day on, the horsechoker plant was no longer a danger, and James Corden had saved the day.
I can imagine him shouting it in that annoying way he does then forcing a laugh
Kevin Spacey, director probably Polanski. Life story.
I swear I didn't fake this 
ChatGPT prompt: Create the scene: the movie studio pitch meeting for the movie "Horsechoker".
It's a bustling afternoon at the movie studio, and the executives are gathered around a large conference table for the pitch meeting for the new movie, "Horsechoker." The director and screenwriter are standing at the front of the room, nervously presenting their idea to the group. "Horsechoker is a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat Western that follows the story of a young gunslinger named Jack, who must confront a notorious outlaw known as the Horsechoker," the director begins.
The screenwriter picks up the thread. "The Horsechoker is a ruthless killer who chokes his victims with a length of horsehair, earning him his gruesome nickname. Jack must track him down and bring him to justice, but the Horsechoker is a cunning and dangerous adversary, and the pursuit becomes a deadly game of cat and mouse."
The executives listen intently, nodding along as the filmmakers describe the action-packed plot and the strong, complex characters. They ask questions and offer suggestions, and the meeting concludes with a general sense of excitement and anticipation for the project."Horsechoker" has the potential to be a hit, and the executives are eager to move forward with development and production. The director and screenwriter leave the meeting feeling hopeful and energized, ready to bring their vision to life on the big screen.
ChatGPT prompt: Create the scene: the movie studio pitch meeting for the movie "Horsechoker".
It's a bustling afternoon at the movie studio, and the executives are gathered around a large conference table for the pitch meeting for the new movie, "Horsechoker." The director and screenwriter are standing at the front of the room, nervously presenting their idea to the group. "Horsechoker is a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat Western that follows the story of a young gunslinger named Jack, who must confront a notorious outlaw known as the Horsechoker," the director begins.
The screenwriter picks up the thread. "The Horsechoker is a ruthless killer who chokes his victims with a length of horsehair, earning him his gruesome nickname. Jack must track him down and bring him to justice, but the Horsechoker is a cunning and dangerous adversary, and the pursuit becomes a deadly game of cat and mouse."
The executives listen intently, nodding along as the filmmakers describe the action-packed plot and the strong, complex characters. They ask questions and offer suggestions, and the meeting concludes with a general sense of excitement and anticipation for the project."Horsechoker" has the potential to be a hit, and the executives are eager to move forward with development and production. The director and screenwriter leave the meeting feeling hopeful and energized, ready to bring their vision to life on the big screen.
I'd probably cast Al Pacino as a mild mannered, easy going stable hand who flips out one day and becomes a terrible villain by the name of horsechoker.
Over his years in the industry he's been treated badly. He travels throughout the US, killing the horses of everyone who ever wronged him and sends them video clips of the deed, after which he hunts them down and force feeds them lasagna made from their dead horse. The lasagna is also laced with poison so they die.
Denzel Washington is the FBI agent assigned to take him down.
Directed by Oliver Stone and coming to theatres next summer.
Over his years in the industry he's been treated badly. He travels throughout the US, killing the horses of everyone who ever wronged him and sends them video clips of the deed, after which he hunts them down and force feeds them lasagna made from their dead horse. The lasagna is also laced with poison so they die.
Denzel Washington is the FBI agent assigned to take him down.
Directed by Oliver Stone and coming to theatres next summer.
I'd watch thatI swear I didn't fake this
ChatGPT prompt: Create the scene: the movie studio pitch meeting for the movie "Horsechoker".
It's a bustling afternoon at the movie studio, and the executives are gathered around a large conference table for the pitch meeting for the new movie, "Horsechoker." The director and screenwriter are standing at the front of the room, nervously presenting their idea to the group. "Horsechoker is a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat Western that follows the story of a young gunslinger named Jack, who must confront a notorious outlaw known as the Horsechoker," the director begins.
The screenwriter picks up the thread. "The Horsechoker is a ruthless killer who chokes his victims with a length of horsehair, earning him his gruesome nickname. Jack must track him down and bring him to justice, but the Horsechoker is a cunning and dangerous adversary, and the pursuit becomes a deadly game of cat and mouse."
The executives listen intently, nodding along as the filmmakers describe the action-packed plot and the strong, complex characters. They ask questions and offer suggestions, and the meeting concludes with a general sense of excitement and anticipation for the project."Horsechoker" has the potential to be a hit, and the executives are eager to move forward with development and production. The director and screenwriter leave the meeting feeling hopeful and energized, ready to bring their vision to life on the big screen.
How much do you need to make this happen?