...moron 
o we have to swallow this nonsense?
by Pete Clark
Read Pete Clark in the Evening Standard
The armchair view
More on this Story
Keane out for three months
Scholes adds a new problem
Why failure didn't figure in their plans
It was with a heavy heart that I sat down to watch Manchester United versus the Hungarian fall guys. Through the doors which give on to my spacious Shepherds Bush garden, I could hear the unpolluted sounds of Fulham fans enjoying themselves in the vastly underrated InterToto league of nations.
On the wafting breezes of a West London evening, it was possible to sniff football as it used to be: heavy-booted, wholehearted and affectionate. If I had strolled outside and found Johnny Haynes doing a spot of weeding, I wouldn't have been in the least surprised.
As it was, I had to settle for the corporate thuggery of Man Utd, an aggregation of individuals which has now become a branded herd. Their shepherds for the evening were Gary Lineker, Mark Lawrenson and Alan Hansen; three gifted individuals who pride themselves on telling it like it is - until such time as Ferguson's red mist descends.
There have been very few times in my life when I have longed for Andy Gray to materialise on the small box. Andy, as we know, keeps tabs on who is shirt-tugging, ball-watching or sucking on the hastily-thrown bottle from the touchline.
Although the man is clearly bonkers, he remains down to earth. The panjandrums of the BBC, however, continue to let Man Utd get away with it.
The problems of the Old Trafford club, should they lose the game, are talked about in terms of national economic catastrophe. The myths of this wretched club (most notable plane crashes, alcoholics and bald men in denial) have swamped the country. It should be outlawed for anyone who lives outside the environs of Greater Manchester to support 'Man Utd'.
Manchester United is McDonald's, is Coca-Cola, is Starbucks. And, I hear, Andrew Lloyd Webber is working on a musical called Veron, the second part of his study of tortured Argentinians.
Picture the scene: there are 1,500 Hungarians in the crowd of 65,000. Roy Keane is utterly unsmiling in the tunnel. Alex Ferguson, on the other hand, is for once being kind to his chewing gum. Motty, of all people, is burbling about Man Utd blazing a trail in Europe in the Fifties, when everyone knows it was Wolves who did this, particularly against Hungarian opposition.
Why do we have to swallow this nonsense? Has everyone been bought by this club?.
Lawrenson even suggested that the Man Utd financial supremo could be forgiven for tackling a second gin 'n' tonic at half time. I hope this gets back to Keane because the nemesis of the prawn sandwich brigade might bring this whole unappealing edifice tumbling down.
Isn't it great when people lash out because they can't handle the fact United are the most appealing club in the land.
o we have to swallow this nonsense?by Pete Clark
Read Pete Clark in the Evening Standard
The armchair view
Keane out for three months
Scholes adds a new problem
Why failure didn't figure in their plans
It was with a heavy heart that I sat down to watch Manchester United versus the Hungarian fall guys. Through the doors which give on to my spacious Shepherds Bush garden, I could hear the unpolluted sounds of Fulham fans enjoying themselves in the vastly underrated InterToto league of nations.
On the wafting breezes of a West London evening, it was possible to sniff football as it used to be: heavy-booted, wholehearted and affectionate. If I had strolled outside and found Johnny Haynes doing a spot of weeding, I wouldn't have been in the least surprised.
As it was, I had to settle for the corporate thuggery of Man Utd, an aggregation of individuals which has now become a branded herd. Their shepherds for the evening were Gary Lineker, Mark Lawrenson and Alan Hansen; three gifted individuals who pride themselves on telling it like it is - until such time as Ferguson's red mist descends.
There have been very few times in my life when I have longed for Andy Gray to materialise on the small box. Andy, as we know, keeps tabs on who is shirt-tugging, ball-watching or sucking on the hastily-thrown bottle from the touchline.
Although the man is clearly bonkers, he remains down to earth. The panjandrums of the BBC, however, continue to let Man Utd get away with it.
The problems of the Old Trafford club, should they lose the game, are talked about in terms of national economic catastrophe. The myths of this wretched club (most notable plane crashes, alcoholics and bald men in denial) have swamped the country. It should be outlawed for anyone who lives outside the environs of Greater Manchester to support 'Man Utd'.
Manchester United is McDonald's, is Coca-Cola, is Starbucks. And, I hear, Andrew Lloyd Webber is working on a musical called Veron, the second part of his study of tortured Argentinians.
Picture the scene: there are 1,500 Hungarians in the crowd of 65,000. Roy Keane is utterly unsmiling in the tunnel. Alex Ferguson, on the other hand, is for once being kind to his chewing gum. Motty, of all people, is burbling about Man Utd blazing a trail in Europe in the Fifties, when everyone knows it was Wolves who did this, particularly against Hungarian opposition.
Why do we have to swallow this nonsense? Has everyone been bought by this club?.
Lawrenson even suggested that the Man Utd financial supremo could be forgiven for tackling a second gin 'n' tonic at half time. I hope this gets back to Keane because the nemesis of the prawn sandwich brigade might bring this whole unappealing edifice tumbling down.
Isn't it great when people lash out because they can't handle the fact United are the most appealing club in the land.