Tonight I've been talking to a French friend of mine whos nieghbour has a vinyard that Platini has a 40% stake in. Apparently, Platini's friend Zidane has a friend Petit who has a friend called Viera, who has a friend that knows Barthez, whos friend Blanc whos friend Henry, who has a friend who knows Trezeguet who has a friend called Angloma, whos friend knows the father of the very ill Gerrard, who has a friend who recently sent him flowers to his hospital bed called Silvestre, who knows someone called Pires, says that Wenger has signed his new contract yesterday because he phoned Kenyon about the vacant position at United in June and was told to "F**k off you sad fr*ggy cnut - I'd rather have Kenny Dalglish, and then I would be desperate".
So, you see, Wenger had no other choice but to sign for the Arse!
So, you see, Wenger had no other choice but to sign for the Arse!