This is a disgrace.
Gaming The RedCafe NBA Simulation 34/35 | Season Review + Draft | This will never end (FALSE) | BasketballGM
- Thread starter nimic
- Start date
2017 NBA Final
@hobbers @Heine @Solius @altodevil @Dr. Dwayne @V.O. @P-Nut @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @weetee @BenitoSTARR
Preview
NBA Final
First blood goes to Washington! A monster game by Durant, while the two injured Spurs starters struggled. It was close, though!
It's tied up! Kevin Durant was completely neutralized. Does this show the path?
If Kevin Durant gets to take 30 shots, you might be in trouble. Even when he misses 17 of them.
Suddenly it's 3-1 to the Wizards! Nobbers keeps putting up huge numbers, but the Spurs as a team are missing quite a lot of shots as well.
Dynasty. I'll be honest, I was convincing myself that the Spurs would win at least the next 4-5 rings. But apparently you can't count Kevin Durant out. Or Bradley "45 points" Beal. And if they can do it, maybe the Rockets can do it, or the Celtics - or someone else. The league just got interesting!
Nobbers consistently put up big numbers this series, and was the best Spurs performer in 4 out of 5 games. His efficiency is the only point against him. Heine was very efficient, on the other hand, and generally played quite well - with one very notable exception. Sonius was hampered in the early games by his niggling injury, but came back with a great game 5. altodevil is hard to judge, since he's never been primarily a box score player, but he'll be disappointed by the relative lack of rebounds, blocks and steals in some games. He can hardly be blamed for the loss, though.
Playoff stats
Playoff leaders
Up next: Season Review (where we'll say goodbye to a few players)
Quoting myself for the new page, and so Solius' shame is not hidden
First in assist, third in scoring, third in PER.
Literally carrying the Bucks on my back.
Literally carrying the Bucks on my back.
Squad depth is not your strength.
No. As the new goat Nobbers needs to find his way onto a bankrolled team.
Taking screenshots of the feats for the update later, and I thought this one was funny.
Also this one.
The Mavericks subreddit would be so funny the second time.
The Mavericks subreddit would be so funny the second time.
Still 6th in vorp. Such a legend.
Too bad Washington (Durant…) ended up being too strong. I believe its our depth being too weak in the end… Looks like we are a «cheap» team so might be that it wont improve, just hope that me and Sonius can develop more so that we can make up for it (And Murray). Alto not getting better either :/
16/17 Season Review
16/17 Season Review
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Playoffs
(I'll do playoff summaries and predictions, but only for playoff teams, sorry!)
Regular season
Season awards
Player stats (regular season + playoffs)
Feats
League news
We have to say goodbye to some Cafites! Dr. Dwayne, Salt Bailly and weetee have all decided that ~20 years in the NBA is enough. They can all be content in the knowledge that their children will represent their name in the league for years to come. Right now they all look to possibly be having even better careers than their fathers as well, though their fathers all had good enough careers to make the Hall of Fame!
Dr. Dwayne was a journeyman, playing for 9 different teams in his career. He was good enough to make the All Stars 14 years (!), 5 All-League teams, and the Hall of Fame - but never found himself on teams making a particularly spirited playoff push. The closest he got was the 2nd Round in 2004 with Denver and in 2014 with Cleveland.
Salt Bailly was definitely one of those "more than numbers" players. His PER was always pretty good, as was his WS (Win Share). Not elite, but very good. Like Dr. Dwayne, he also never found himself on particularly good teams. The closest he ever got was in 2007, when his Denver Nuggets made the 2nd Round. Nonetheless, his defensive prowess is easily enough to earn him a spot in the Hall of Fame.
weetee was one of the best shooters in the NBA for nearly his entire career. He just didn't shoot that often. That means his scoring numbers were never outrageously high, though he still managed to contribute to some playoff success. His favourite memories will be of the old days in Seattle, when he won both of his championships. But he found success in his old age too, becoming the league assists leader at the age of 34, and making the 2nd Round at 35. Easily enough for the Hall of Fame.
More money more problems. Or possibly more players.
Draft lottery
Oklahoma should just stop participating in the draft. They had the worst record in 2017, 2016 and 2015, and the 2nd worst record in 2014 and 2013. In that time their pick (whether they owned it or not) was 3rd, 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th. Though there might not be such a massive difference between 1st and 3rd in this draft.
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Playoffs
(I'll do playoff summaries and predictions, but only for playoff teams, sorry!)
- Nobbers, Heine, Sonius & altodevil couldn't repeat with the San Antonio Spurs, failing to beat the final boss: Kevin Durant.
- Prediction for next season: back in the finals as the three golden boys improve further, and altodevil will still be playable.
- hobbersdid well with the Boston Celtics until getting beaten by Washington and Durant - but no worse than the Spurs were.
- Prediction: knocked out in the 1st round as Anthony Davis gets better while all the other starters get worse (39-year old hobbers included)
- Lil' V.O. & weeweetee found their Houston Rockets surprisingly beaten by the Utah Jazz in the 2nd Round.
- Prediction: finals run as the two best players, the Cafites, get even better - and the rest probably aren't old enough to really decline yet.
- Dr. Junior couldn't stop the Cleveland Cavaliers from getting knocked out in the 2nd Round by Washington. Though again, their opponents beat everyone 4-1 or better.
- Prediction: progress will stall unless the Cavaliers trade away one of their many, many PGs for a Center. Dr. Junior will probably get better, but the rest are comfortably in their mid-to-late 20s, so who knows there.
- P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET did well to get their Denver Nuggets to the 2nd Round, but couldn't keep from being swept by the Spurs.
- Prediction: presuming BenitwoSTARRLET and Joel Embiid improve, and P-Nut and Jrue Holiday keep from declining too much, they should be back in the 2nd Round next season - with an outside shot at the Conference Finals.
- reelworld II did quite well to champion his Milwaukee Bucks' victory over the 2-seed Detroit Pistons, but the Boston Celtics were too much in the end.
- Prediction: reelworld II will leave Milwaukee, and he might come to regret it (as 3 out of the other 4 starters are under 25, and probably getting better). On the other hand, reelworld II is the only reason those players were in the 2nd Round anyway, so maybe not.
- weetee could not stop his Golden State Warriors from being swept by the Utah Jazz in the 1st Round.
- Prediction: sitting by the pool drinking piña coladas.
- Two Nil will be disappointed in the final result of the 1st Round Cleveland-Toronto match-up (4-1), but the series was very close.
- Prediction: Two Nil will get the hell out of Toronto. Probably to somewhere worse (who may or may not end up being better than Toronto as a result of signing Two Nil).
- sontodevil put up a valiant fight against his father and the younglings, but in the end the Memphis Grizzlies still found themselves being swept by the San Antonio Spurs.
- Prediction: back in the playoffs, but if they can avoid the Spurs they might actually make the 2nd Round. The biggest challenge is that Greg Oden and J.R. Smith might decline a lot.
Regular season
Season awards
Player stats (regular season + playoffs)
Feats
League news
We have to say goodbye to some Cafites! Dr. Dwayne, Salt Bailly and weetee have all decided that ~20 years in the NBA is enough. They can all be content in the knowledge that their children will represent their name in the league for years to come. Right now they all look to possibly be having even better careers than their fathers as well, though their fathers all had good enough careers to make the Hall of Fame!
Dr. Dwayne was a journeyman, playing for 9 different teams in his career. He was good enough to make the All Stars 14 years (!), 5 All-League teams, and the Hall of Fame - but never found himself on teams making a particularly spirited playoff push. The closest he got was the 2nd Round in 2004 with Denver and in 2014 with Cleveland.
Salt Bailly was definitely one of those "more than numbers" players. His PER was always pretty good, as was his WS (Win Share). Not elite, but very good. Like Dr. Dwayne, he also never found himself on particularly good teams. The closest he ever got was in 2007, when his Denver Nuggets made the 2nd Round. Nonetheless, his defensive prowess is easily enough to earn him a spot in the Hall of Fame.
weetee was one of the best shooters in the NBA for nearly his entire career. He just didn't shoot that often. That means his scoring numbers were never outrageously high, though he still managed to contribute to some playoff success. His favourite memories will be of the old days in Seattle, when he won both of his championships. But he found success in his old age too, becoming the league assists leader at the age of 34, and making the 2nd Round at 35. Easily enough for the Hall of Fame.
More money more problems. Or possibly more players.
Draft lottery
Oklahoma should just stop participating in the draft. They had the worst record in 2017, 2016 and 2015, and the 2nd worst record in 2014 and 2013. In that time their pick (whether they owned it or not) was 3rd, 4th, 4th, 4th, 4th. Though there might not be such a massive difference between 1st and 3rd in this draft.
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very kind words @nimic
bit surprised to become a hall of famer. Not too shabby that career.
bit surprised to become a hall of famer. Not too shabby that career.
Nice update nimmy
The numbers don‘t show it but I was one of the most intelligent players to step on the court. Just a bit too shy.
Great update. Still on 3rd team all-nba. Incredible really. Salt Bailly making HoF 
Wait weetee even more egregious
nobbers starting to rack up accolades. Hmm.
10th pick, hopefully a rotation player from that
Just waiting and hoping for some good increases now
Just waiting and hoping for some good increases now
Wow the Nuggets retired my jersey.
Wait weetee even more egregious
2017 Draft and Free Agency
2017 Draft and Free Agency
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Draft
Top 10
11-60
Free Agency
Lil' V.O. and Skizzlet both decided to re-sign with their current teams
Two Nil and Pepper Bailly left Toronto and Sacramento, respectively, and found new teams. Two Nil will play with Stobzilla II and BenitoSTARR.
reelworld II left Milwaukee, and then signed right back up with them.
Trades
Lots of trades!
Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be good?
reelworld II (Bucks), Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be bad?
reelworld II (Bucks) - Doesn't seem too bad for the Bucks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks), Dr. Junior (Cavaliers) - Why are teams suddenly giving away 55-ish rating players for 2nd round picks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - I don't understand. Getting a younger but worse and more expensive player. And their contracts both end after the season.
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - okay this one makes some sense at least.
The Cub (Thunder) - here's a spoiler for you. That one player who went to Washington is now better than any of the players that went to Oklahoma City in return.
The Cub (Thunder) - okay I guess?
Solius (Pelicans)
P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET (Nuggets) - I mean, yeah, getting rid of a SG for a more versatile Guard is pretty smart when you already have two other ones.
Finally, some new style.
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Draft
Top 10
11-60
Free Agency
Lil' V.O. and Skizzlet both decided to re-sign with their current teams
Two Nil and Pepper Bailly left Toronto and Sacramento, respectively, and found new teams. Two Nil will play with Stobzilla II and BenitoSTARR.
reelworld II left Milwaukee, and then signed right back up with them.
Trades
Lots of trades!
Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be good?
reelworld II (Bucks), Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be bad?
reelworld II (Bucks) - Doesn't seem too bad for the Bucks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks), Dr. Junior (Cavaliers) - Why are teams suddenly giving away 55-ish rating players for 2nd round picks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - I don't understand. Getting a younger but worse and more expensive player. And their contracts both end after the season.
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - okay this one makes some sense at least.
The Cub (Thunder) - here's a spoiler for you. That one player who went to Washington is now better than any of the players that went to Oklahoma City in return.
The Cub (Thunder) - okay I guess?
Solius (Pelicans)
P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET (Nuggets) - I mean, yeah, getting rid of a SG for a more versatile Guard is pretty smart when you already have two other ones.
Finally, some new style.
Damn, I thought I'm definitely leaving2017 Draft and Free Agency
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Draft
Top 10
11-60
Free Agency
Lil' V.O. and Skizzlet both decided to re-sign with their current teams
Two Nil and Pepper Bailly left Toronto and Sacramento, respectively, and found new teams. Two Nil will play with Stobzilla II and BenitoSTARR.
reelworld II left Milwaukee, and then signed right back up with them.
Trades
Lots of trades!
Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be good?
reelworld II (Bucks), Pepper Bailly (Timberwolves) - Do the Timberwolves want to be bad?
reelworld II (Bucks) - Doesn't seem too bad for the Bucks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks), Dr. Junior (Cavaliers) - Why are teams suddenly giving away 55-ish rating players for 2nd round picks?
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - I don't understand. Getting a younger but worse and more expensive player. And their contracts both end after the season.
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR (Knicks) - okay this one makes some sense at least.
The Cub (Thunder) - here's a spoiler for you. That one player who went to Washington is now better than any of the players that went to Oklahoma City in return.
The Cub (Thunder) - okay I guess?
Solius (Pelicans)
P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET (Nuggets) - I mean, yeah, getting rid of a SG for a more versatile Guard is pretty smart when you already have two other ones.
Finally, some new style.
But at least they're making moves to add depth and quality to the starting 5
Why draft for potential? Most likely Frank wont be good before they break us up :/ Someone like Kuzma or Bogdanovic would fit our timeline better
69 potential draft isn't too bad.
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17/18 Season Preview Part 1
17/18 Season Preview Part 1
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Power Rankings
Team Finances and Strategy
Preview
Trades
Skizzlet (Hawks), Solius (Pelicans) - wtf are the Hawks doing? Is a 29 year old 58 rating player really worth giving up a 1st round pick? It's not like the Hawks are going to actually be good the next couple of seasons.
Dan II (Lakers) - power move!
@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine
Power Rankings
Team Finances and Strategy
Preview
Trades
Skizzlet (Hawks), Solius (Pelicans) - wtf are the Hawks doing? Is a 29 year old 58 rating player really worth giving up a 1st round pick? It's not like the Hawks are going to actually be good the next couple of seasons.
Dan II (Lakers) - power move!
How did the Rockets pay me with cap space of minus infinity?
How did the Rockets pay me with cap space of minus infinity?
You can go over the cap to pay your existing players, but the higher you go the more you have to pay all the other teams in luxury tax. Basically Houston is really hoping you two get them a ring or two.
Sonius, all that potential but where's the improvement?
Cut him loose.
Cut him loose.
I'll have you know I was a more than numbers guy. The engine room, if you will.Salt Bailly making HoF
The salt of the earth.
About that...
Grim. In the bin.
Good trades for the Lakers @nimic?
Decent ones, yes! You're taking some steps yourself, but you'll have to wait for part 2/3 for that. You're not quite ready to lead the Lakers to glory.
Too bad with Sonius :/ At least I am really improving now, should be able to really start taking more responsibility and help Nobbers even more. Just hope that Sonius improves while his potential drops
The Houston duo looking scary, may be ready to reach a final. Hope we can stop them another year. The texan rivalry lives!
Funny to ser Russel becoming a real star, and Payton.
Can’t wait to see the rest of the reviews, you are doing a great job!
The Houston duo looking scary, may be ready to reach a final. Hope we can stop them another year. The texan rivalry lives!
Funny to ser Russel becoming a real star, and Payton.
Can’t wait to see the rest of the reviews, you are doing a great job!
Thanks!
17/18 Season Preview Part 2
17/18 Season Preview Part 2
@BenitoSTARR @Solius @oneniltothearsenal @Stobzilla @The Cat @Dan @sebsheep @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @P-Nut
Solius - New Orleans Pelicans (35-47)
38-years old and still in the league - how about that? Solius is still collecting $20.57M/yr, don't forget. And if you think that means he's scamming the Pelicans, note that he's still easily the best player on the team. He can't run or jump anywhere, but just try and stop him from getting his 17 points.
Skizzlet - Atlanta Hawks (29-53)
Skizzlet is the latest victim of the "just getting better at endurance and IQ" curse. Though it remains to be seen if it really is a curse, since everyone follows that up with a great leap forward. He's wearing the right colours, anyway.
Pepper Bailly - Minnesota Timberwolves (28-54)
There's clearly a certain colour palette which attracts the interest of Pepper Bailly. He's also in one of those off-off-seasons, but in his case he's already a very good player, so let's not feel too bad for him. The starting 5 of Minnesota isn't the worst in the world, but they have precisely zero depth to the team.
SebJr - Miami Heat (34-38)
SebJr is like a fine wine; he only gets better with age. He's also the right colour, though these days they throw you in jail for pointing out that someone is rosé-tinted. He was disappointed not to make the playoffs last season, but that might be a challenge this season too. A lot of players got better, which helps a lot, but they also lost their best player.
Dan II - Los Angeles Lakers (38-44)
I can confidently assert that Dan II is almost certainly going to play more games this season than he has so far in his entire career. He's not exactly a superstar yet, but nor he is unplayable. If you get him shots, he is going to make them. At this point he's just about smart enough to figure out which basket to score on.
The Cub - Oklahoma City Thunder (25-57)
The Cub has so emulated the career path of what I can only assume is his biggest hero: P-Nut. Nearly MVP caliber level play? Check. All-Star regular? Check. All Star competition winner? Check. Allergic to the playoffs? Double check. I think this is the season, though. He got a little bit worse himself, but the team got quite a bit better. It helps that they really hit on their draft of Lauri Markkanen.
P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET - Denver Nuggets (51-31, 2nd Round)
The Nuggets have a pretty good starting 5. BenitwoSTARRLET has gotten a bit better, P-Nut has gotten a bit worse, and the rest of the team has generally improved. I think they're now one of those teams that aren't the favourites to win anything, but they could suddenly Utah some unfortunate playoff contender. Best to be avoided, I think.
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR - New York Knicks (35-47)
Welcome to the 19th year of BenitoSTARR's career. All with one team, mind. I think it's safe to say the Knicks are retiring the 00 shirt after he retires. I'm sure he'd like just more one decent playoff run, for old times. And this time him and Stobzilla II have been joined by Two Nil, the triple double machine himself. The one thing they're lacking is depth, but if everyone can remain relatively healthy I reckon they should make the playoffs.
@BenitoSTARR @Solius @oneniltothearsenal @Stobzilla @The Cat @Dan @sebsheep @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @P-Nut
Solius - New Orleans Pelicans (35-47)
38-years old and still in the league - how about that? Solius is still collecting $20.57M/yr, don't forget. And if you think that means he's scamming the Pelicans, note that he's still easily the best player on the team. He can't run or jump anywhere, but just try and stop him from getting his 17 points.
Skizzlet - Atlanta Hawks (29-53)
Skizzlet is the latest victim of the "just getting better at endurance and IQ" curse. Though it remains to be seen if it really is a curse, since everyone follows that up with a great leap forward. He's wearing the right colours, anyway.
Pepper Bailly - Minnesota Timberwolves (28-54)
There's clearly a certain colour palette which attracts the interest of Pepper Bailly. He's also in one of those off-off-seasons, but in his case he's already a very good player, so let's not feel too bad for him. The starting 5 of Minnesota isn't the worst in the world, but they have precisely zero depth to the team.
SebJr - Miami Heat (34-38)
SebJr is like a fine wine; he only gets better with age. He's also the right colour, though these days they throw you in jail for pointing out that someone is rosé-tinted. He was disappointed not to make the playoffs last season, but that might be a challenge this season too. A lot of players got better, which helps a lot, but they also lost their best player.
Dan II - Los Angeles Lakers (38-44)
I can confidently assert that Dan II is almost certainly going to play more games this season than he has so far in his entire career. He's not exactly a superstar yet, but nor he is unplayable. If you get him shots, he is going to make them. At this point he's just about smart enough to figure out which basket to score on.
The Cub - Oklahoma City Thunder (25-57)
The Cub has so emulated the career path of what I can only assume is his biggest hero: P-Nut. Nearly MVP caliber level play? Check. All-Star regular? Check. All Star competition winner? Check. Allergic to the playoffs? Double check. I think this is the season, though. He got a little bit worse himself, but the team got quite a bit better. It helps that they really hit on their draft of Lauri Markkanen.
P-Nut & BenitwoSTARRLET - Denver Nuggets (51-31, 2nd Round)
The Nuggets have a pretty good starting 5. BenitwoSTARRLET has gotten a bit better, P-Nut has gotten a bit worse, and the rest of the team has generally improved. I think they're now one of those teams that aren't the favourites to win anything, but they could suddenly Utah some unfortunate playoff contender. Best to be avoided, I think.
Stobzilla II, Two Nil & BenitoSTARR - New York Knicks (35-47)
Welcome to the 19th year of BenitoSTARR's career. All with one team, mind. I think it's safe to say the Knicks are retiring the 00 shirt after he retires. I'm sure he'd like just more one decent playoff run, for old times. And this time him and Stobzilla II have been joined by Two Nil, the triple double machine himself. The one thing they're lacking is depth, but if everyone can remain relatively healthy I reckon they should make the playoffs.
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He’s working on it.