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So how's the tally in total? 16-6? Heavily one-sided, especially since it does look to stay that way for a while.

It's like 11-10?

Orlando, Toronto, Phily, Chicago, New Jersey, Washington all got 1. New York and Seattle got 2 each.
 
It's like 11-10?

Orlando, Toronto, Phily, Chicago, New Jersey, Washington all got 1. New York and Seattle got 2 each.
Seattle was West though. Didn't Benito brag about three rings? Likely made that up.
 
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Depending on «ownership» it should be some more for west in the next year.

Rockets really using alot of money on role players, and none expirint :confused:
 
2017 All Star Weekend - Update and All Star Game
2017 All Star Weekend Update and All Star Game

@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine

I split the all star update into two posts this time, for... reasons.

Standings

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All Cafites being within 9 wins of each other is quite the new experience for the East. There are only 25-odd games left to play, but any one of you could conceivably drop out of or make the playoffs from here. It would be quite surprising if Two Nil and Dr. Junior didn't make it, after their good starts. Their recent form is less impressive, though. hobbers at least has a winning record since last time, so if that holds then he should make it.

SebJr was the biggest surprise of last update, but he's taken charge since then and slowly dragged Miami up the table. Can he keep it up and take them over the line? Skizzlet is trending the other way, unfortunately. Atlanta started well, but are now looking more and more likely to drop out. The same goes for Stobzilla II and BenitoSTARR in New York, except to an even greater extent. The Bucks have taken advantage of their collapse, and reelworld II is now is closer to the playoff than at any point after 2012 - when he last made it.


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It's pretty clear that the West is now the significantly stronger conference. sontodevil on the Grizzlies and P-Nut and BenitwoSTARRLET on the Nuggets are just above the line here, while in the East they would be a single win behind the 2-seed. Of the two, sontodevil probably has the most to be worried about, as Dan II and Solius are both pushing their teams into pretty good form in a bid to make it above the line.

At the bottom it's a familiar story. The Cub and Dr. Dwayne couldn't maintain their "good" start, and Salt Bailly and Pepper Bailly never really got going. The silver lining is that both of their teams have their own picks.

At the top the Spurs Foursome (the Spursome) has taken a commanding lead, Lil V.O. and weeweetee are trying to keep up, but their very good form is not quite enough compared to the Spurs great form. weetee, on the other hand, is defying expectations by helping his Warriors up to 3rd. It's quite tight below, but 19-5 since last time and 8-2 in the last 10 is very good indeed. Western dark horse?


All Star Teams


The West is crazy young.

East
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West
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Is someone targeting our Centers?


All Star Game

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The West wins!

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2017 All Star Weekend Slam Dunk and 3 Point Contest

@Solius @hobbers @Skizzo @P-Nut @reelworld @sebsheep @BenitoSTARR @Dan @weetee

Slam Dunk Contest

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Three Cafites? It's spoiler time!

There are 2 Rounds, with two players advancing from Round 1. Everyone has two dunks per round, with three attempts to make it each dunk. Maximum of 50 points per dunk.

Sonius: 50
Nobbers: 17
Kevin Durant: 50
Skizzlet: 33
Sonius: 0 (total 50)
Nobbers: 48 (total 65)
Kevin Durant: 37 (total 87)
Skizzlet: 32 (total 65)


Of course there's a draw when you guys are involved. Time for one more dunk to decide if Nobbers or Skizzlet get to go against Kevin Durant!

Nobbers: 48
Skizzlet: 0

Nobbers it is!


Nobbers: 50
Kevin Durant: 33
Nobbers: 24 (total 74)

Nobbers needs Kevin Durant to score 40 or lower to win!
Kevin Durant: 38 (total 71)


Nobbers is the new Slam Dunk Champion!

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3 Point Contest

It's a first: every single player is a Cafite! Solius is back to show the kids (and P-Nut) how it's done. He's as old as weeweetee and BenitwoSTARRLET combined.

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There are so many of you that the stacked spoilers are probably going to make it hell to read on mobile. I could just not do the stacked spoilers, or not do the screenshots, but compromise is for the weak. You just better hope there won't be any tiebreaks...!

1st Round - 4 advance
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SebJr is out.
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Nobbers is out.
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It's going to be reelworld II, BenitwoSTARRLET, Dan II and Solius in the 2nd Round! A very high-scoring 1st Round indeed.


2nd Round - 2 advance
I clicked next too soon, but Solius shot 25 :nervous:
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Tiebreak it is, between reelworld II, Solius and BenitwoSTARRLET. Never mind the All Star Update - if we have too many of these I literally can't fit the 3 Point Contest itself in a single post.

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29 is great, so long as reelworld II doesn't shoot 29 as well!

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Motherfecker. This is going to be completely unreadable on mobile, and it's all your fault.

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If reelworld shoots 24 and puts us in another tiebreak, I am deleting him.

reelworld: 27 <- Yes I removed the picture to get within the 20 picture limit.

Oh thank god. It's reelworld II vs Dan II in the Final Round.


Final Round
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We have a new winner! reelworld II was presumably tired from shooting 100 three pointers before the final round, so Dan II got the better of him!
 
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Wait how the feck do you score 0/50 after getting 50 the first time?
 
Also, I gave Nobbers 36 on dunks to start off with. Suck on that Durant.
 
All star team, "competing" in the 3 point competition.

Could never have dreamed this for the kid. :eek:
 
Seeing those pics next to each other makes you wonder if Hobbers and BenitoStarr had a romantic encounter which resulted in BenitwoStarlett.
 
It's obvious that Benitwo is using greenface and should be cancelled.
 
BenitoTwo also looks like they've lied about their age. Dan hahaha
 
Since the end of the season is approaching, and with it awards, I took a look at what the MVP and Defensive Player of the Year would look like if Kevin Durant (6 last MVP) and altodevil (19 DPOY) didn't exist.

MVPs without Durant would have been:

2011: P-Nut
2012: P-Nut
2013: Josh Smith (and then hobbers)
2014: Josh Smith (and then hobbers)
2015: Josh Smith (and then hobbers)
2016: sontodevil


DPOYs without altodevil would have been:

1997: Kevin Garnett
1998: Shaq
1999: oneniltothearsenal
2000: hobbers
2001: oneniltothearsenal
2002: hobbers
2003: Vince Carter (and then oneniltothearsenal)
2004: hobbers
2005: Andrei Kirilenko
2006: hobbers
2007: hobbers
2008: hobbers
2009: hobbers
2010: BenitoSTARR
2011: hobbers
2012: The Cub
2013: Kevin Durant (and then The Cub)
2014: sontodevil
2016: sontodevil
 
hobbers really did have bad luck.

That said. Bottled his finals when they came, so...
 
Did I even make the playoffs in 11 & 12?
 
That said. Bottled his finals when they came, so...

Final.

And I'm pretty sure Boston vs Utah was the only playoff final, conference final and even conference semi final my team were favourites.
 
16/17 End of Regular Season
16/17 End of Regular Season

@BenitoSTARR @Dan @Dr. Dwayne @P-Nut @Salt Bailly @Skizzo @Solius @Stobzilla @The Cat @V.O. @altodevil @hobbers @oneniltothearsenal @reelworld @sebsheep @weetee @Heine

Final standings


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Oof, that's a lot of red! Though somehow reelworld II and the Bucks climbed from 12th to 7th since last update with a losing record. The Knicks with Stobzilla II and BenitoSTARR similarly climbed from 13th to 9th with the same record, but they needed to climb one more spot to make the playoffs. Skizzlet will be very disappointed to end up dead last, though 4-21 explains it well enough. SebJr didn't end up last with his Heat, but he'll also be bitterly disappointed to miss out, even though he dragged the team from last to 9th last time, and particularly considering just two or three more wins would have been enough to make it.

Two Nil did make it with his Raptors, though that's two updates in a row with a losing record. Can he turn it around for the playoffs? Dr. Junior already has turned it around, at least compared to the last update. The Cavaliers maintain the 4-seed, which means they'll be playing the Raptors in the 1st Round. Also making it is hobbers, whose Celtics must have found some of their old form. The final record is "only" 49-33, but going closing it out with 19-6, and 9-1 in the last 10, is a good sign.


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No prizes if you guessed who would finish top two (Spurs and Rockets), or bottom (Thunder). At least 25 wins is an improvement on the 13 wins The Cub and Dr. Dwayne had last season. Salt Bailly and Pepper Bailly also ended the season better than they started it, which was terribly. Right above them we have Solius, who might be disappointed he couldn't keep his great form from last time, though it would always be difficult in a very strong West.

The same applies to Dan II and the Lakers. 12-12 wasn't good enough to catch up to sontodevil and the Grizzlies above the line, though it was closer than it had any right to be when Memphis finished the season 3-7. Even weetee and the Warriors couldn't maintain their stellar form from last time, though they were never in any danger of dropping out of the playoffs. They were overtaken by several teams, however, including the Nuggets. P-Nut and BenitwoSTARRLET lead their team to a great 20-6 record since last time, only beaten by Washington and Kevin Durant's 20-4.


Playoff bracket

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Regular season leaders

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Can't avoid feeling sorry the The Cub, that good on such a bad team. I bet he can't wait to leave...
 
Can't avoid feeling sorry the The Cub, that good on such a bad team. I bet he can't wait to leave...
I have advised him to follow his old man's lead of spending his spare time on coke and hookers to keep himself sane until he gets a move.
 
Disappointing season but we'll look to rebuild (by continuing to have shit drafts (I think?)) and go again next year.