The Bluffer's guide to MCFC
- Thread starter KM
- Start date
Another club who think their fans are special.
Holy hell, I thought that would be on some shitty fan site, but that's the official website. That's cringeworthy.
Is that for real? Cringeworthy.Jesus christ. They're becoming everything they professed to hate about us - and then some.
I love the way it's on the official site yet it's packed full of grammatical errors.
On the official site.
You couldn't make this shit up.
They realise they need some form of glory before they can release the Glory Hunters Starters Guide?
So they spend years mocking United for our global support and then as soon as they get a sniff of the bandwagon fans, they write a pathetic open letter to them on their official website.
Manchester city everyone.
Manchester city everyone.
Wow
That is embarrassing.
Seriously we should do away with City and Chelsea. Football can only be better without these two clubs.
That was the funniest thing I've seen since Rimaldo's Caf Calendar.
Oh sweet Jesus
Ok then.
Can't believe I actually genuinely burst out laughing at that article. So hilarious it's my bloody facebook status.
If this drivel is anything to go by, the club thinks the fans are 'special' as in the euphemism for intellectually challenged.
Not only are any proper blues cringing at that moronic site of theirs ('The Poznan Crew', anyone?) -- as I type this, a bandwagonjumping City fan in Boise, Idaho (who started 'supporting' them after their FA Cup semi triumph) is cringing being addressed like that.
That article is like a massive monument to absolute cluelessness.
Of course, in the fullness of time you’ll pick ‘The Knowledge’ and become a diehard City fan just like the rest of us. Until then, we hope the above is of some use!
Can't wait to see all the nouveau city fans down the pub for the final on saturday.
I was speaking to a lad the other day who was wearing a City training top. I axed him how many months he'd been follow city and he laughed and said three. He said he started supporting city when Tevez signed for them cuz he's a big bacon neck fan.
I was speaking to a lad the other day who was wearing a City training top. I axed him how many months he'd been follow city and he laughed and said three. He said he started supporting city when Tevez signed for them cuz he's a big bacon neck fan.
Absolutley has to be a piss take.
Of course, in the fullness of time you’ll pick ‘The Knowledge’ and become a diehard City fan just like the rest of us. Until then, we hope the above is of some use!
That was where the article peaked.Hi
Welcome to Manchester. And when we say Manchester, we hope you didn't think Manchester United like every other fecker, that gives too hoots about football, does. There's actually another massive team in Manchester that is going to take over the world. You may have never heard of them but they have heard of you. That sounded better in my head. Anyways, Manchester City Football Club would be proud to welcome you to our fanbase. Before you know it you'll be doing the Poznan, an epic celebration where a bunch of retards like yourself turn their backs on the football action because they can't bear to watch any more of their team and need to stare at some fattys ugly arse. Anyways, drop by any time at our wonderful stadium, The City of Manchester Stadium, because it's usually empty, even for matches that could decide the fate of our CL dreams.
Yours desperately
MCFC
Welcome to Manchester. And when we say Manchester, we hope you didn't think Manchester United like every other fecker, that gives too hoots about football, does. There's actually another massive team in Manchester that is going to take over the world. You may have never heard of them but they have heard of you. That sounded better in my head. Anyways, Manchester City Football Club would be proud to welcome you to our fanbase. Before you know it you'll be doing the Poznan, an epic celebration where a bunch of retards like yourself turn their backs on the football action because they can't bear to watch any more of their team and need to stare at some fattys ugly arse. Anyways, drop by any time at our wonderful stadium, The City of Manchester Stadium, because it's usually empty, even for matches that could decide the fate of our CL dreams.
Yours desperately
MCFC
Wow. Just wow.
"it’s called The Poznan because City played a team called Lech Poznan earlier this season and their fans did the same dance – we just named it in their honour!"
After laughing at it, yes.
After laughing at it, yes.
The tweet they give you to spread the word is 3 characters too long. This just gets better.Un-fecking-believable
That is pretty bad
We all know we have at least 3 fans, and that manager Roberto Mancini is waiting for his P45.
Loyalty, commitment, passion, a sense of humour - Manchester City fans have none of these things. But now, a shitload of money has allowed them to become truly unbearable.
Success means we’ll be welcoming a new generation of fans from all over the globe...just before they get wise and head for the Old Trafford stadium tour.
Champions League qualification and the FA Cup Final will mean hundreds of thousands of bandwagon-hopping gloryhunters will adopt the Blues as their chosen side and with that in mind, here is a guide to help these people, complete with subtitles for the stupid:
Our fans’ anthem is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, a song written by Liam Gallagher, Mike Summerbee and that bloke from Inspiral Carpets. We don’t sing the whole song - just the chorus - because we've all shot ourselves long before that - this is the measure of how City gets into your soul, and how supporting the team is as depressing as f**k.
If asked where we play our football, it’s the Council House – also nicknamed Wastelands due to the total wastes of space we've signed. It’s worth noting that from 2012 fans can watch our matches on Cartoon Network, and probably Channel 5, once we get our arses kicked in Europe.
If you are asked who your favourite players are, keep refreshing Wikipedia every five minutes because, let's face it, we're signing everyone who possesses more than one leg. Pro tip: prove you're a real City fan by cheering Carlos Tevez as he waves goodbye from the window of the 9am flight to Milan.
If we defy history and tradition by actually scoring a goal, you may be asked to join in a ‘Poznan’. Don’t say ‘Piss off, you celebration-stealing bastard’, simply turn your back to the pitch, put your arms around the shoulders of the person on either side and jump up and down until more money falls out of Sheik Mansour's wallet.
This will be our first FA Cup Final since 10000BC, so don’t try and bluff your way through historical facts. The last time we won a trophy, we paraded the Cup through the jungle on the back of a Brontosaurus.
Of course, in the fullness of time you’ll pick up ‘The Knowledge’ and become a suicidal City fan just like the rest of us. Until then...anyone got a stream for the United match, please?
Loyalty, commitment, passion, a sense of humour - Manchester City fans have none of these things. But now, a shitload of money has allowed them to become truly unbearable.
Success means we’ll be welcoming a new generation of fans from all over the globe...just before they get wise and head for the Old Trafford stadium tour.
Champions League qualification and the FA Cup Final will mean hundreds of thousands of bandwagon-hopping gloryhunters will adopt the Blues as their chosen side and with that in mind, here is a guide to help these people, complete with subtitles for the stupid:
Our fans’ anthem is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, a song written by Liam Gallagher, Mike Summerbee and that bloke from Inspiral Carpets. We don’t sing the whole song - just the chorus - because we've all shot ourselves long before that - this is the measure of how City gets into your soul, and how supporting the team is as depressing as f**k.
If asked where we play our football, it’s the Council House – also nicknamed Wastelands due to the total wastes of space we've signed. It’s worth noting that from 2012 fans can watch our matches on Cartoon Network, and probably Channel 5, once we get our arses kicked in Europe.
If you are asked who your favourite players are, keep refreshing Wikipedia every five minutes because, let's face it, we're signing everyone who possesses more than one leg. Pro tip: prove you're a real City fan by cheering Carlos Tevez as he waves goodbye from the window of the 9am flight to Milan.
If we defy history and tradition by actually scoring a goal, you may be asked to join in a ‘Poznan’. Don’t say ‘Piss off, you celebration-stealing bastard’, simply turn your back to the pitch, put your arms around the shoulders of the person on either side and jump up and down until more money falls out of Sheik Mansour's wallet.
This will be our first FA Cup Final since 10000BC, so don’t try and bluff your way through historical facts. The last time we won a trophy, we paraded the Cup through the jungle on the back of a Brontosaurus.
Of course, in the fullness of time you’ll pick up ‘The Knowledge’ and become a suicidal City fan just like the rest of us. Until then...anyone got a stream for the United match, please?
Fantastic, the OP and SteveJ's post.'kin ell thats hilarious steve
Cheers, guys. 
It's nowhere near as funny as the real thing though - I was sure it was a spoof.
It's nowhere near as funny as the real thing though - I was sure it was a spoof.
Funny as feck
Any City fan who gave it the full moral high ground in the past and still supports them is a massive hypocrite.
Oh, yeah, that'd be all of them then.
Oh, yeah, that'd be all of them then.
That's the worst bit for me. To openly try to rip off a unique aspect of someone else's football culture because you have none of your own ? fecking disgrace.
To be fair, judging by the response on Twitter, City fans seem to be deeply embarrassed and can't understand why it's on the club's website.
Steve, I bow down. Or rather, I'm close to a real-life ROFL here."Our fans’ anthem is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, a song written by Liam Gallagher, Mike Summerbee and that bloke from Inspiral Carpets."
It feels like I've been laughing at City all day ('self-depricatingly hilarious'; 'Poznan fans do The City'; the article in the OP; your brilliant parody). Yes, they do indeed spread laughter and joy!
"Our fans’ anthem is Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now, a song written by Liam Gallagher, Mike Summerbee and that bloke from Inspiral Carpets."
It feels like I've been laughing at City all day ('self-depricatingly hilarious'; 'Poznan fans do The City'; the article in the OP; your brilliant parody). Yes, they do indeed spread laughter and joy!
I'm beginning to feel sorry for City fans after all that, mate.
That's the most embarrassing thing I've seen since Owen's brochure.
Must be a wind up , surely?
Can't believe that isn't a wind up...
And have you seen the pic when you click on the link? A fat skinhead & a retard in a blue wig...yes come & join us, you'll fit right in!
Perhaps someone would like to do some appropriate Photoshops with it?
And have you seen the pic when you click on the link? A fat skinhead & a retard in a blue wig...yes come & join us, you'll fit right in!
Perhaps someone would like to do some appropriate Photoshops with it?