I think you're old enough not to compare a team sport with sprinting.
If you compare athletes based on their merits, Aguero, Kane, Zlatan and Higuain won 0 Champions Leagues, 0 squared, where are their merits?
Goals scored count to shit if you don't win stuff, my opinion is that's the merit in a team sport, not who scores the most.
I'm a stats guy myself, that's what I do for work, but I'd never use stats to compare two humans in such a linear manner as stats tell you only one side of a story.
I'm going to ask you a simple question, not being condescending or anything like that, an F12 Berlinetta is slower than a Tesla Model S in all categories bar top speed, which is the better car? Or let's imagine a scenario, if Messi retired at Barca and scored 700 goals, while Zlatan played for a gazillion of clubs and scored 700 goals, who's the better player using only stats?
I'm not being deliberately obtuse, I can see your point and, until a certain level, I agree with it. But you can't come on a football fans forum (being a fan instantly brings emotion and feeling into the conversation) and ask them to say "which is the better player based on these stats" because we'd not be fans anymore, we'd just be competitors on Who wants to be a billionaire.
I'm not mooting your point or your work, I'm not the type of guy to take my opinion and slap you in the face with it, I'm just trying to say that stats don't take emotion into account and individual results in a team based game don't really mean much in regards to the overall performance of the team as there are other variables at play, like effort, commitment, coach, tactics, compatibility, hell even fans, so the comparison is too blunt.
I can also put using the brain of a liverpool supporter : "If Higuain, Zlatan, Kane and Aguero would have been top players at their peak, they would've dragged their team to a champions league"(or, in case of Harry "I'm English" Kane, to at least a fecking Carabao cup).