From The Fiver column in The Guardian
PRAWN FREE
The story of the prawn is not a highly eventful one. Basically idling around freshwaters being slightly bigger than shrimps since prehistoric times, they are not especially prone to war, arson or inventing the combustion engine. Yet, strangely, they taste mighty good with a lime'n'coconut dressing. Today their life story took a thrilling new twist, however, after striker Kenneth Kristensen clinched his transfer from Vindbjart to Flekkeroy for his weight in fresh prawns - the first crustacean-funded transfer in football history.
Thanks to today's events in the Norwegian third division, whoever is writing the popular history book Prawn - and after Salt, Longitude, Domestos etc, you can bet there will be someone - now has material for the chapter after "Royston Keane and the affair of the sandwich". Kenneth, who scored what the Fiver will assert (without fear of contradiction) to be a cracker against Viking Stavanger in the cup last season, may even set a trend, with Diego Forlan being flogged to Margate for a jar of whelks before the season's out.
"Kenneth was in top form when he left us in the winter but he has had a relaxed summer eating seafood on Flekkeroy. I think this will be a good deal for us," Vindbjart club foreman (foreman?) Vidar Ulstein told Faedrelansvennen (Faedrelansvennen?), presumably suggesting that Kenneth may consume his own fee before the deal is completed this Saturday. Flekkeroy will be taking their scales to make sure everything is fair, although Flek boss Rolf Guttormsen remains bemused. "I had no idea if it was a joke or deadly serious," he said. "When I called the Vindbjart chairman he said that it was a bit of both but they wanted the prawns."
The Fiver can sympathise, and will not dismiss the move as an act of madness. With a little nurturing, Vindbjart could surely have an all-crustacean backline by Christmas.
PRAWN FREE
The story of the prawn is not a highly eventful one. Basically idling around freshwaters being slightly bigger than shrimps since prehistoric times, they are not especially prone to war, arson or inventing the combustion engine. Yet, strangely, they taste mighty good with a lime'n'coconut dressing. Today their life story took a thrilling new twist, however, after striker Kenneth Kristensen clinched his transfer from Vindbjart to Flekkeroy for his weight in fresh prawns - the first crustacean-funded transfer in football history.
Thanks to today's events in the Norwegian third division, whoever is writing the popular history book Prawn - and after Salt, Longitude, Domestos etc, you can bet there will be someone - now has material for the chapter after "Royston Keane and the affair of the sandwich". Kenneth, who scored what the Fiver will assert (without fear of contradiction) to be a cracker against Viking Stavanger in the cup last season, may even set a trend, with Diego Forlan being flogged to Margate for a jar of whelks before the season's out.
"Kenneth was in top form when he left us in the winter but he has had a relaxed summer eating seafood on Flekkeroy. I think this will be a good deal for us," Vindbjart club foreman (foreman?) Vidar Ulstein told Faedrelansvennen (Faedrelansvennen?), presumably suggesting that Kenneth may consume his own fee before the deal is completed this Saturday. Flekkeroy will be taking their scales to make sure everything is fair, although Flek boss Rolf Guttormsen remains bemused. "I had no idea if it was a joke or deadly serious," he said. "When I called the Vindbjart chairman he said that it was a bit of both but they wanted the prawns."
The Fiver can sympathise, and will not dismiss the move as an act of madness. With a little nurturing, Vindbjart could surely have an all-crustacean backline by Christmas.
