we’ve spent a decade now, languishing behind a whole host of teams. you can make an argument for as many as 10 premier league teams being better than us at any one time; during that period:
city
liverpool
arsenal
chelsea
spurs
leicester
newcastle
+3 others
have all bested us. that’s before we even start on the rest of the eu *spits*
the road back to the top has been arduous. as a fan base, we have suffered greatly. we’ve probably suffered more than any other sporting franchise in history. we’re talking way past jewish kids at christmas levels, we’re talking moses and the jews in the desert for 40 years levels of suffering. though ours has been condensed into 10, to amplify the pain even further.
even with clear progress made this year, it’s not enough for the staunchest red. we should be better. ten hag should be better. all of our players should be better; they’re largely useless, or old, or old and useless.
we’re losing relevance as a footballing force, the glazers are finding it hard to find anyone interested enough to buy us. the club’s been hawked around for ages, yet the only interest they can oil-drum up has been from one guy who we think may have a rich dad, who no-one’s actually seen, as he’s always too busy oppressing gay people or women, and another guy who invented wd-40 or something.
with city and arsenal, light years ahead of us, newcastle leap-frogging us, with our relevance as footballing behemoth being ever eroded as the years go by with us in the footballing wilderness. with the next generation of kids only really interested in tiktoks and happy slapping, is it time for the club to use the last of its fame and clout to pivot away from football and become an e-sports team? one with a heavy focus on social media presence? is it time to pivot to a franchise that’s dedicated to grifting money off kids and young adults?
look how much boxing has improved after embracing what the next generation want. when you think of boxing now, you don’t think of ali v frazier, holyfield v tyson, sugar ray v lamotta, you think youtube star v youtube star, influencer v influencer. the next generation are spending millions watching spoilt brats cosplaying as boxers. they’d do the same for footballers who aren’t good enough to play professionally, but can bang in the odd goal at a local park on a youtube highlights reel and spend thousands opening fifa packs. golf is also ahead of the curve, no one wants st andrews and four days of watching their dads play in stupid clothes. they want liv golf. they want the lights of vegas, they want long drive competitions. they want to turn up, watch something for 20 minutes, take a load of b-roll for their insta, and they want to feck off again.
it’s clear from the majority of posts on here that having a club with a clear identity isn’t important. it’s clear that any kind of morals or ethics only get in the way of success. it doesn’t matter how success is gained or measured, it only matters that we are the best. it only matters that people can’t chat shit about us on their socials. it’s clear enjoying football as a game isn’t important. the only thing that matters is to be relevant, to be top dog, and the club should pick whatever path is quickest to that.
imagine old trafford, open 24 hours a day, prime energy drink on tap. charging cables for every brand of device, everywhere. mega high speed internet, with limitless upload bandwidth. artificial light beamed to every nook and cranny; perfect for vlogging. imagine the deafening roar of a “oooh sick, bruv!” as someone pulls mbappe from a fifa pack on the big screen (yes, with this business model, we’d finally get proper screens at old trafford.) imagine the pitch used for something decent for once as 50 choreographed influencers dab, whip and do the monster mash, whilst everyone one else sits in silence, watching it on their phones and emoticoning their reactions. imagine all the reaction videos to the initial videos. a never ending revenue stream, really cementing us top dog in the industry. even our name assumes our genders. let’s let manchester united die and let’s be reborn “themchester e-nited” sometimes to live, you’ve first got to die.
city
liverpool
arsenal
chelsea
spurs
leicester
newcastle
+3 others
have all bested us. that’s before we even start on the rest of the eu *spits*
the road back to the top has been arduous. as a fan base, we have suffered greatly. we’ve probably suffered more than any other sporting franchise in history. we’re talking way past jewish kids at christmas levels, we’re talking moses and the jews in the desert for 40 years levels of suffering. though ours has been condensed into 10, to amplify the pain even further.
even with clear progress made this year, it’s not enough for the staunchest red. we should be better. ten hag should be better. all of our players should be better; they’re largely useless, or old, or old and useless.
we’re losing relevance as a footballing force, the glazers are finding it hard to find anyone interested enough to buy us. the club’s been hawked around for ages, yet the only interest they can oil-drum up has been from one guy who we think may have a rich dad, who no-one’s actually seen, as he’s always too busy oppressing gay people or women, and another guy who invented wd-40 or something.
with city and arsenal, light years ahead of us, newcastle leap-frogging us, with our relevance as footballing behemoth being ever eroded as the years go by with us in the footballing wilderness. with the next generation of kids only really interested in tiktoks and happy slapping, is it time for the club to use the last of its fame and clout to pivot away from football and become an e-sports team? one with a heavy focus on social media presence? is it time to pivot to a franchise that’s dedicated to grifting money off kids and young adults?
look how much boxing has improved after embracing what the next generation want. when you think of boxing now, you don’t think of ali v frazier, holyfield v tyson, sugar ray v lamotta, you think youtube star v youtube star, influencer v influencer. the next generation are spending millions watching spoilt brats cosplaying as boxers. they’d do the same for footballers who aren’t good enough to play professionally, but can bang in the odd goal at a local park on a youtube highlights reel and spend thousands opening fifa packs. golf is also ahead of the curve, no one wants st andrews and four days of watching their dads play in stupid clothes. they want liv golf. they want the lights of vegas, they want long drive competitions. they want to turn up, watch something for 20 minutes, take a load of b-roll for their insta, and they want to feck off again.
it’s clear from the majority of posts on here that having a club with a clear identity isn’t important. it’s clear that any kind of morals or ethics only get in the way of success. it doesn’t matter how success is gained or measured, it only matters that we are the best. it only matters that people can’t chat shit about us on their socials. it’s clear enjoying football as a game isn’t important. the only thing that matters is to be relevant, to be top dog, and the club should pick whatever path is quickest to that.
imagine old trafford, open 24 hours a day, prime energy drink on tap. charging cables for every brand of device, everywhere. mega high speed internet, with limitless upload bandwidth. artificial light beamed to every nook and cranny; perfect for vlogging. imagine the deafening roar of a “oooh sick, bruv!” as someone pulls mbappe from a fifa pack on the big screen (yes, with this business model, we’d finally get proper screens at old trafford.) imagine the pitch used for something decent for once as 50 choreographed influencers dab, whip and do the monster mash, whilst everyone one else sits in silence, watching it on their phones and emoticoning their reactions. imagine all the reaction videos to the initial videos. a never ending revenue stream, really cementing us top dog in the industry. even our name assumes our genders. let’s let manchester united die and let’s be reborn “themchester e-nited” sometimes to live, you’ve first got to die.
Nice one