We can do this, cnutos... if it catches on, we can get the TV rights and make our fortunes
Right... first of all, hexagonal field, for one thing
Right... first of all, hexagonal field, for one thing
Invent a new sport
- Thread starter Plechazunga
- Start date
6 slightly spikey balls.
Well there has to be a ball involved somehow. Perhaps a sheep's testicle.
Okay, we're getting somewhere
Got to involve the audience, see Mexican wave shite. Probably the cnuts have to throw the ball in or some such wank.
Hnag on, what about if instead of a field, it was played in people's houses? So if you were watching it on telly, there'd be a small chance it could suddenly come barrelling through your front door, trashing the place but all in the name of sporting drama
The TV subscription fee would have to include some sort of damage waiver...
The TV subscription fee would have to include some sort of damage waiver...
That just sounds like some sort of violent "Daz doorstep challenge".
Excellent, that should set us up for a name...
Dazmatazz?
Daz Hazard...
Daz Spaz!
Dazmatazz?
Daz Hazard...
Daz Spaz!
Kadazzi?
Hazmat Daz?
Dazzleball Spazzlecrawl!
Hazmat Daz?
Dazzleball Spazzlecrawl!
Nah you don't want to shit on your own doorstep. You wanna be a playa in the castrated drama rather than a supporter. Think posing or talent show rather than fighting.
That's stretching it a bot. You could do it roof to roof, people wouldn't mind a smashed window now and then.
I'm out of ideas already. I just keep thinking of that bit in Flash Gordon when they're on that tilting disc with spikes coming up from the floor.
Okay, roof to roof it is.
So you throw this spiky ball from one rooftop that your team member must catch with his mouth while fending off the opposition player who's trying to hit it with a stainless steel rod.
If it goes down the chimney the last person to touch it has to throw themselves off the roof
Bonus runs for catching it with your crotch.
How about "Hot-air balloon jousting"?
EDIT - ..."LIVE"
EDIT - ..."LIVE"
Now, that is a fecking great idea
Yeah, poke the other guy's balloon to win.
Or aim for the basket, if you're feeling confident.
You could have twenty of the feckers in the air at the same time. Slowly jousting.
I'm feeling you
sorry, started talking to my cock there
sorry, started talking to my cock there
I hope you're not "slowly jousting"
Daz the way, uh huh, uh huh, Plech likes it. Uh huh, uh huh.
Possibly too long?
Would be D.T.W.U.H.U.H.P.L.I.U.H.U.H for short.
In other words the last person to touch it has to toss themselves off.
Motor chess. Need I say more?
Ferret toss. Pretty self explanatory.
Why does the American team have a longer pole?
And so to conclude my unparalleled list of altogether ludicrous and impractical sports, I present to you: pigeon darts. Again needs no explanation.
Are we aiming for pigeons or using them as darts?
I think that one might actually need some explanation
The former, the latter and both.
its all in perspective. the left balloon is higher then the right and jousting down.
What about a plain old hot air balloon destruction derby?
It's a fairly difficult premise, similar in nature to the highly addictive ferret toss. Actually, in all honesty, it's just throwing pigeons at other pigeons in the name of entertainment. I use the term 'sport' very loosely.
We wouldn't want PETA demonstrations outside our grounds.
Why would the Primary English Teaching Association be opposed to pigeon darts?
How about 3-man boxing? Or right-hand-tied-behind-the-back boxing?