I'm like Jay Z

I'm like Jay-Z...only better, equipped for any weather
On a rhyme mission and I'm hell bent for leather
A rap go-getter, my mind's unfettered
Making MCs sit like I was training Irish Setters
V-neck sweater in the colour of heather
1911 'cause I don't own me a Beretta
This rhyme love letter makes girls get wetter
Check your rhyme bank slips cause brother you a debtor
 
the feck?
You can't even rhyme, stop wasting my time
Step to the park and try your luck as a mime
Swings, sand and teeter-totters, you'll do just fine
Pensioners and toddlers be giving you their dimes
While the Doc maintains with a glorious shine
I'm building a shrine through my graft and my grind
My verbals enter in your ear, they blowin' out your mind
Highly trained, my refrains are sublime in their prime
 
Dr. Dwayne said:
the feck?
You can't even rhyme, stop wasting my time
Step to the park and try your luck as a mime
Swings, sand and teeter-totters, you'll do just fine
Pensioners and toddlers be giving you their dimes
While the Doc maintains with a glorious shine
I'm building a shrine through my graft and my grind
My verbals enter in your ear, they blowin' out your mind
Highly trained, my refrains are sublime in their prime
Click to expand...

Bitch please.

We're going down to the honda shop I'll tell you what we're gonna do!
Put on something sweat shirt I'll take you anywhere you want me too!
1st gear, it's alright
2nd gear, I lean right
3rd gear, hold on tight
It's not a big motocycle its just a groovy little motorbike!
It's more fun then a barrel of monkeys that two wheel bike!
 
Wrapped up like a gift?
I'll give you short shrift
And drop a rhyme on your ass
That's too heavy to lift

Now in the 4-1-6,
we make you suck dicks
handcuff your ho
and beat your ass with night sticks

You want more of this? It's easy as piss
As easy as it is to give your one liner a miss
Choppin' heads just like I was a mohel at a bris
Now say goodbye, wave and blow us all a little kiss
 
You say you like Jay-Z, I'm willing to bet all yo' 99 problems are bitches
I step to this so easily, leave yo' rhymes in cuts and stitches
Watch as I flip it upside down and inside out, unimpressed with yo' words throughout
Laughing stock, suck a cock, shell shock, I'm the best round the clock
If you like Hov' then I'm Nas to this shit, and Beyoncé on my dick

'cos ain't no such thing as halfway crooks...
 
I hopped off the plain in to-ronto
With my bacon and bacon again
Welcome to the land of Dr D's Essex
Are we gonna shit in 'his handbag'

Jumped in my log and i'm here for the first time
Looked to the right and I see the Canada sign
This is also crazy
everybody's looking so lameness 'fecked if I know if thats a word'.
My tummies rumblin and i'm feeling kinda lonely
Too much like America and I start to get nervous
And thats when Dr.D turned the frypan on
and a Dion song was on!
and a Dion song was onnnnnnnn

So I put my hands up
They're playing my song
I'm frying my bacon away
Noddin my head like yeah
Eat my bacon like yeahh

So I put my hands up
They're playing my song
I'm frying my bacon away
And everybody's got free health care, babe
Yeah-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh
It's a party in Canada
 
Racist.

canada.jpg
 
Get to the club in my taxi cab, every cnut is looking at me now
like who's that one who's sucking dick, he's got to be from outa town
So hard without my boys all around me, certainly not a quebecan party
Cause all I see is straighto's, I guess I never got the heado
My tummies tumblin and i'm feeling kinda hungry
not enough bacon and I get nervous
It's when the DR D hits the tip
And the bacons finally on! 'and the bacons finally on'

So I put my hands up, they're playing my song
the hunger goes away
nodding my head like yeahh
eating my bacon like yeahhhhhh
 
KiD CaNtO said:
You say you like Jay-Z, I'm willing to bet all yo' 99 problems are bitches
I step to this so easily, leave yo' rhymes in cuts and stitches
Watch as I flip it upside down and inside out, unimpressed with yo' words throughout
Laughing stock, suck a cock, shell shock, I'm the best round the clock
If you like Hov' then I'm Nas to this shit, and Beyoncé on my dick

'cos ain't no such thing as halfway crooks...
Click to expand...

Get this noob out the thread, I'll leave him for dead
A legend in his own mind and problems in his head
I'm spittin' hot lead, to fill y'all MCs with dread
Take my rhymes and lay 'em out, y'all droolin' at the spread

Kid Can't, that's right...your rhymes are shite
I'll eat 'em up and spit 'em out; morning noon and night
C'mon take a swing, you can't even fight
Your verse is like a waving flag. The colour? Ooh it's white

I've only got one problem, it's whack rhyme bitches
Talk about they flip the script and hit on all the switches
They greasy like dishes, I leave 'em in ditches
Toss 'em like a penny flipped into a well of wishes
 
Dr. Dwayne said:
Get this noob out the thread, I'll leave him for dead
A legend in his own mind and problems in his head
I'm spittin' hot lead, to fill y'all MCs with dread
Take my rhymes and lay 'em out, y'all droolin' at the spread

Kid Can't, that's right...your rhymes are shite
I'll eat 'em up and spit 'em out; morning noon and night
C'mon take a swing, you can't even fight
Your verse is like a waving flag. The colour? Ooh it's white

I've only got one problem, it's whack rhyme bitches
Talk about they flip the script and hit on all the switches
They greasy like dishes, I leave 'em in ditches
Toss 'em like a penny flipped into a well of wishes
Click to expand...

Newbie in the thread, Moderator rhymes sinkin' like lead
Legend? Please, I'm an animal, feck you up with effort thats minimal, leave you miserable
Only droolin' apparent is from you, unpleasant...

A play on my name? Sure is original, you aint' a real doctor so its forgivable
Eat my rhymes, go right ahead, they'll leave yo' constipated and sick in yo' head
I ain't fighting, this is a extermination, castration, libration of my rhymes
I'll never speak for any flag, or just be sad enough to come on and brag

You've got one problem, I've got none
While you worry over yo' whack rhymes, I'm rattling bitches like a machine gun
Grease from my lyrical flow, fills and fills, for yo' rhymes though, kills and kills
My rhymes come in cheque form not coins, if yo' lucky I'll let yo' rejoin
 
KiD CaNtO said:
Newbie in the thread, Moderator rhymes sinkin' like lead
Legend? Please, I'm an animal, feck you up with effort thats minimal, leave you miserable
Only droolin' apparent is from you, unpleasant...

A play on my name? Sure is original, you aint' a real doctor so its forgivable
Eat my rhymes, go right ahead, they'll leave yo' constipated and sick in yo' head
I ain't fighting, this is a extermination, castration, libration of my rhymes
I'll never speak for any flag, or just be sad enough to come on and brag

You've got one problem, I've got none
While you worry over yo' whack rhymes, I'm rattling bitches like a machine gun
Grease from my lyrical flow, fills and fills, for yo' rhymes though, kills and kills
My rhymes come in cheque form not coins, if yo' lucky I'll let yo' rejoin
Click to expand...

I read a story once about some dude and a shit sandwich
It gave me more enjoyment than your utter waste of bandwidth
Your sense of self's refreshing, like clean teeth and minty breath
But be advised, your style's tired, it's reaching..that's at best

I said before, please close the door on this, your rhyme career
Because the crap you spout is just like verbal diarrhea
So wave goodbye, eff off and die, yo later holmes, I'll see ya
I rhyme up in the stratosphere while you're stuck in first gear
 
Dr. Dwayne said:
I read a story once about some dude and a shit sandwich
It gave me more enjoyment than your utter waste of bandwidth
Your sense of self's refreshing, like clean teeth and minty breath
But be advised, your style's tired, it's reaching..that's at best

I said before, please close the door on this, your rhyme career
Because the crap you spout is just like verbal diarrhea
So wave goodbye, eff off and die, yo later holmes, I'll see ya
I rhyme up in the stratosphere while you're stuck in first gear
Click to expand...

jaydamn.png
 
i get home from work after a long day,
turn on the pc and log onto redcafe
i search for jay's new ep
instead i get bollocks from marchi
i've read this and now i'm nauseous
it's my fault, should be more cautious
its just shit and cringeworthy
lamer than a double amputee

i'm usually too good for this,
like nadal playing women's tennis.
but i feel i've a duty, an obligation,
to address this violation.
so i'm going to give you'll an education.
your vocab is limited, rhymes are weak
scholesy was right, you can't learn technique
dr. rap's not your calling, so just drop this
stick to medicine and giving diagnosis.
if this were footy, i'd be messi, you'd be bebe
if this were a hotel, you're thee maid, i'm DSK
yes, it's been a rape with impunity
but i'll stop now, just out of pity

so does anyone have a link? working preferably
of the new album by kanye and jay-z
 
Psmith said:
i get home from work after a long day,
turn on the pc and log onto redcafe
i search for jay's new ep
instead i get bollocks from marchi
i've read this and now i'm nauseous
it's my fault, should be more cautious
its just shit and cringeworthy
lamer than a double amputee

i'm usually too good for this,
like nadal playing women's tennis.
but i feel i've a duty, an obligation,
to address this violation.
so i'm going to give you'll an education.
your vocab is limited, rhymes are weak
scholesy was right, you can't learn technique
dr. rap's not your calling, so just drop this
stick to medicine and giving diagnosis.
if this were footy, i'd be messi, you'd be bebe
if this were a hotel, you're thee maid, i'm DSK
yes, it's been a rape with impunity
but i'll stop now, just out of pity

so does anyone have a link? working preferably
of the new album by kanye and jay-z
Click to expand...

jay-z.jpg


Watch the Throne won't be leaked, we'll have to wait until Monday.
 
Psmith, you wish, thought I was done with this
You rhyme like a white boy, taking the piss
Your rap took a home run swing and it missed
While I dined out like bazalini, causing you fits

See you can say what you want about my keyboard skills
But the cold hard facts is that they're totally ill
A rhyming assassin, so cold blooded I'm chilled
Umma add PSmith to my list of rap kills

For my third verse set I'll just keep breaking you down
If my rap was a tackle, then we'd say you got Browned
Read the words that I posted, let your brains make the sound
Knock, knock, who it is? Dwayne the tub 'cause you drowned

I don't think you can handle another set of my raps
But umma keep on going with the lyrical slaps
Shout out to marchi91 for setting the trap
Throw your hands in the air 'tards and give me some claps
 
8 bars should do...

I'm so swaggarific, I'm so swaggarific
Bottle my magnificence, sell it at triple digits
From New York to Paris, cross the Alps to Zurich
My name stays global, you stay at home turning putrid
And useless, can't say I'm ballin, but I'm flexing
Drive a Mercury Mystique, no AC, I'm sweating
My dick stays raw though, too many broads I'm sexing
feck cereal, I have pussy for breakfast
 
adex! that New York City boy that's chillin' in the sticks
Connecticut, what's wrong with it? Your cred's what it depicts
Hate to be brief, but with your beef's eight bars I must be quick
My advice? Just skip the pussy, eat a bowl of hot dicks
 
Dr. Dwayne said:
Psmith, you wish, thought I was done with this
You rhyme like a white boy, taking the piss
Your rap took a home run swing and it missed
While I dined out like bazalini, causing you fits

See you can say what you want about my keyboard skills
But the cold hard facts is that they're totally ill
A rhyming assassin, so cold blooded I'm chilled
Umma add PSmith to my list of rap kills

For my third verse set I'll just keep breaking you down
If my rap was a tackle, then we'd say you got Browned
Read the words that I posted, let your brains make the sound
Knock, knock, who it is? Dwayne the tub 'cause you drowned

I don't think you can handle another set of my raps
But umma keep on going with the lyrical slaps
Shout out to marchi91 for setting the trap
Throw your hands in the air 'tards and give me some claps
Click to expand...

I thought once bitten, twice shy,
But you're the 'roach who doesn't die.
Some would call you brave, I say dumb,
Cos this assault will leave you numb.
i've eaten you up, now i'd shit you out,
but i'm veggie, so i'll just spit you out.

Think of this scenario: NWA,
But minus Cube, Easy E and Dre
Rock band Van Halen without a Halen.
Beatles minus Paul and Lennon. Don't imagine,
'Cos that's you. A fake, just hollow,
Going down quicker than a Thai Ho.
Hmm possibly racist, but I say it as it is,
You say it like Shaun custis,
Spurious claims, dubious accusations,
I feel sorry for your patients.

you've tried, but you can't touch me,
I'm sicker than jokes about tragedy
I'm always on the up, hip hop viagra,
can't catch me, i flow like niagra
I think that's it, no need for a referee,
there's only been one winner and that's me.
 
Hip hop viagra, that sums you up
Your rhymes are more shit than two girls one cup
I'm always on time, even when I come late
And I smash whack rappers like a Greek does plates

Your persistence is admirable, but your rhyme style's fallible
Too many gaps in your syntax, I'll snatch your valuables
I keep my style tight cause the words are malleable
And my lines stay hot, cause my spits is flammable

So check one, check two, yo PSmith I've smashed you
into pieces. you can cease this crusade, yes eschew
this competition my renditions leave you with too much to do
No need for a rematch, I'm in a different class, dude
 
None of you can rap, you should quit the shit
I bring it to your front doors, no permission slip
feck jay-z, he's some sort of anti-christ
life is a beach and I've got sandy thighs
wait...hold up, it's like that ...ok
I would push you right back...Oshea
or push you right back like Rooney's hairline
I never stop talking, call it free airtime
my money is on roids, stacks too strong
your girl's alarm ring tone, that's my song
I like my Rihanna, and my newest car's yellow
No I'M a different class, you were left back...Marcelo
everything I do, you know I do it's gigantic
so much ice arround my neck, they say I fecked the titanic
but uh....I'm just ill like that
never ever could you ever kill my swag
and you just be serving at the till like that...
whoever I'm battling it's just one nill like thatttttt
 
What more can I say? it's Boss
Rhymes with ellipses, like I give a toss
dot, dot, dot that's three holes in you
mouth, anus, pussy' cause you bitch made, dude
The inspiration of a thread that's anti-heterosexual
Tryin' to tango with the Doctor, caf rhyme intellectual
That's your first mistake son, the second? clicking reply
I bust off like drrty south, jizzed right in your eye
So grab some paper towel, sink some drops of Visine
Wipe off your lashes, apply some more Maybeline
Get used to your position beneath consistent rhyme excellence
Your petulance is nothing when compared to my eloquence
 
Doc in this rap game you are softer than a pillow
My rap weapon is my pen, why is yours a dildo?
that's wrong, you're known as mr be queer
even with the visine, you couldn't see clear
you don't get the picture because your image is blurry
i sit back and imagine that imogen's furry
when I'm on the beat I'm stomping like a sasquatch
in canada you're known for taking backshots
and I thought they were lying untill I saw the snapshots
you with three guys untill your bra strap pops
Ew, I'm trying to get that image out my head
and you just wish that your girl would get out my bed
and so would I, because i've got stuff to do
you're sitting on the bench, no substitute
 
Soft like a pillow 'cause y'all need to lay your head
see my rhyme style's vicious leaving y'all cats dead
if my stylo's like a dildo, that's cause it's fecking your ass
step inside my rhyme theater as I deliver it class
after class after class of 'lemme show you how I do'
and with surgical precision make you come unglued
watch you break down at the hands of the teacher
my final diagnosis? well y'all better get the preacher
tell 'im time to see Boss, time to read his last rites
boy is dead in the water, 'cause my science too tight
So jog on, get gone, you up in my territory
if this continues any longer it's gonna be a horror story
Dwayne rains down pain you'd best step under that umbrella
I don't want to hurt you son 'cause you're a likeable young fella
So bon soir Boss, good night hope you dreamin' of Rihanna
Step to me again and I'm afraid I'll have to ban ya
 
Doc against Boss, who are you trying ta kid?
I will tear you apart, I'm so ryan giggs
JayZ and Kanye flow,, don't make me go ham,
the world made me the man...............I beat you red and black, you're so AC Milan
I wreck the mic, I cause havoc and carry madness
make girls scream with no touch..... Danny Alves
to battle me, you shouldn't get a chance never mind a second chance
you're faker than nicki minaj's breast implants if it's true her chest's enhanced
I wasn't going to respond but I was told to 'get her back'
'boss how are you not going to destroy the male Rebecca black?'
you can't feck with boss, you need to turn back
that's the ultimate rule of life so you need to learn that
I run Canada all the way from the UK
From T dot, to Windsor to Hallifax on Tuesdays,
I'm the best to ever rap, they should have told you that
really trying to battle me.....who sold you crack?
I only recognise real and you're a pre-tender, an extra on eastenders
the rap d..jemba......wait..
you lost, it's over, time to bury the hatchet
i've murdered this shit..where do I bury the casket?
I want you to think of ME when ever you practise
have you shaking and nervous, have you tearing your matress
going senile, whenever he smile
you shouldn't mess with me, I've got Obama on speedial
you've lost and you can't even deny...
don't you ever,ever,ever,ever....ever hit the reply
 
You really let loose boy that's a mouthful of shit
I see your ass running scared as I'm deliverin' hits
Up to this time, I've let you whine, treated you like swine
But Imma show exactly why you'll never take what's mine

See, I'm a lyrical miracle like a vision at Lourdes
Flowin' out through my fingers as I touch keyboards
Yeah my mind's ill refined and my rhymes are on time
And they will feck you up quick if you like or slow grind

On the track I pack lyrical heat and spit lead
Metaphorically rape MCs and leave 'em for dead
Uh..that's kinda graphic, but that's my tactics
An attitude submission dropped on all y'all wack tricks

My shit stays bumping like the skin on toads
And I drop dope ass raps like bombers drop payloads
To beat the champ you gots to prove that your lines are the best
But you're distressed and to be honest yer last rhyme didn't impress

'Cause your game, it's preordained, I got it well scoped out
You come persistent, dropping names, pretendin' you got clout
But young money I'm a Big Dog and you only a pup
It's game, set, match Boss, yo it's time you give up.
 
Boss vs Doc, is like bringing a gun to a fist fight
I always take the left turn... don't know what is miss right
I lick my lips as I step into the building
lyrical weapons not concealing, I'm a legend i'm a villian
feck it, lets keep it simple, I'm great...period
your ryhmes are on time? you're always late....period
My accountant has lost count....myriad
and my flow always stay stupid...idiot

You keep trying to go against me but you lost already
why do you have my name tatted all across your belly?
I am not a nelly, I bring the real back
my new whip is yellow bannana, watch the top peel back
please understand this is effortless, I'm not even trying
had to sit you down, and say, 'stop bleeding crying!'
there's literally nothing lyrically I can't do
even the 40 year old virgin gets more pussy than you

the only way you kill me is when you bore me to death
i treat you like a child, sit on the naughtiest step
go back and re-write but my lines you can't fault
I run Canada, I'm on my usain bolt
you're the van nistelrooy of this rap game...all you do is feed on balls...
after this all your friends will leave you, saying please don't call
I'm off the wall like MJ in his prime
battling me.... they should make it a crime so stop wasting my time

I'm the best to do this and really you should honour me
they are about to give you a new rating like America's economy
even Stevie wonder was invited to come and see
I need a new rival, you just got exchanged...Currency
 
Rhymes? I write ‘em tight, like Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night
Lines be gettin’ buck wild, so phat they need a diet
The science is lyrical violence, you should try it
No leaps of logic, don’t need to incite no riot
A different category, smash and grab by allegory
I keep it fresh while Boss persistin’ with the same old story
A quip flipped then a pause while you assume by calculation
That when he drop a name his rhymes can rock entire nations

Dwayne here to bring the pain in fact I’m kinda like a sadist
I’ll answer ever verse you drop, I’m gonna make you hate this
Oh Boss, your rhymes are clever, they’re so flippant yet so sweet
Congrats, you won a title; gayest poster of the week
It’s the only thing you’ll win if you keep steppin' to the Doc
Take my advice, admit defeat, it really ain’t no shock
I’ll retire every squire that eyes my title and aspires
Your persistence is admired but your chances have expired
 
uh..

another battle? are you damn kidding me?
this shit is about to get ugly, I'm on my Frank Ribery

I meant to remind ya, so get this inside ya
My rhymes are tighter than my ex's vagina
my flow is out of space, something like district nine
kid resign, remember you can't always quit in time
i'm always in front, you can't skip the line
so quit replying, go to the club looking for a big behind
(not the last 'chick ' you showed me saying..well I think she's fine..
even though she had a dick bigger than the district line)

No respect for your diservice, man I'm planking on your verses
your shit is so worthless,this ass whooping you've earned this
I'm so well connected but i can't be reached
you're such a good actor, is this your grammy speech?
wake up everything morning simply mad at me because you can't release
you and pele must be cut from the same family tree...hehe

ok...enough jokes now, lets get serious
thinking you're winning, you're eddy murphy..delirious
My lyrics paint a vivid picture, blu-ray...mysterious
I say this so loud, but y'all ain't hearing us
your flow is piss, kidney....bladder
everyone knows mine is tiki taka, tmi? my dick is fatter

I run this house like Russel's nieces, you're a muppet, cousin skeeter
even Nas says you just got ethered
please understand that, it's the 48th law
just ran through my 48th whore, now it's 48 more
Is he serious? It's obvious you can't tell
after this nobody would hear from you again.... like blu cantrell

...breathe.
 
I'll roll you like a Zig-Zag and smoke you like a chimney
Your style just ain't cricket Boss, it's Jiminy
I call it like is, you're lookin' green with envy
Gawkin' at my verses thinkin' "look at all I can't be!"

Pack your life up, move house, throw that rhyme book in the rubbish
Take a trip to Pennsylvania, make a transfer to the Amish
Build a barn, knit some yarn, start cookin' in the kitchen
When I lay beats it means defeat for you and for your children

Go run and hide, take cyanide I'll pause and count to five
I'm givin' you an opportunity to stay alive
Ain't no shame in losing to the Doc, son, stop ignoring it
You really think you'll take one off the caf's rap laureate?

I'm everywhere, all up in here, I'm in the trees like Charlie
You could rhyme with napalm and you still ain't gonna stop me
The difference, see, 'tween you and me, my rhyming Ph. D
Good riddance, Boss, you just got served...love, Divine Dr. D
 
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