If they weren't playing for their current club, which club would be most fitting?

Bastian

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I could see Martinez in an Inter shirt (Atletico too for that matter). Maybe the Inter of old, but they've had quite a few of gladiatorial defenders.

mods: can you move this into the football forum?
 
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Onana - somewhere like Lazio
Martinez - yeah I can see Atletico
Maguire - West Ham
Dalot - Tottenham or One of the upper mid table Spanish sides
McTominay - Leeds
Evans - retired
Mainoo - City or Bayern
Rashford - Everton's bench
Hojlund - Inter or Juve
Antony - Fenerbache
Amad - Liverpool
 
I could see De Ligt and Zirkzee in Man United shirts.
 
Mainoo- Wenger arsenal prodigy.
Mctominay- West Ham
Hojlund- Dortmund
Martinez- A. Madrid
 
Onana - somewhere like Lazio
Martinez - yeah I can see Atletico
Maguire - West Ham
Dalot - Tottenham or One of the upper mid table Spanish sides
McTominay - Leeds
Evans - retired
Mainoo - City or Bayern
Rashford - Everton's bench
Hojlund - Inter or Juve
Antony - Fenerbache
Amad - Liverpool
Your „ideal“ clubs do speak volume about how you rate them. I am not saying that I disagree. It is simply a shocking collection of clubs for the ambitions that United should have.