Films Schwarzenegger should have been in?

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Philadelphia - When a man with AIDS is fired by a conservative law firm because of his condition, he hires a homophobic small time lawyer as the only willing advocate for a wrongful dismissal suit. Really, Arnie could play either character here and still steal the show.

Castaway - A FedEx executive must transform himself physically and emotionally to survive a crash landing on a deserted island. Epic, imagine watching Schwartzenegger, by himself, for just over 2 hours. Try and imagine the range of emotions he would go through, maybe two, or even three different types.
 
Dr Kildare - tv series I know but with a name like that he could either kill the patient's disease or the patient.
 
Rainman - The perfect autistic performance by Hoffman, ruined by Arnold.
 
Shawshank Redemption - A man wrongly accused of murder struggles to survive Shawshank prison. Except he doesn't really struggle... No-one tries to rape him, the prison guards don't scare him... in fact no-one really fecks with him at all. At the end of the movie he makes his daring escape by taking out the prison guards with a single spoon.
 
King Kong. Obviously in the title role. It's not racist to suggest a white Austrian play a giant gorilla right?

Twilight. Best Vampire Ever. though probably have been more than a little creepy watching old Arnie try to seduce a High School girl.

Silence of the Lambs. Just to hear Arnie say in his best Austrian accented English "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again"
 
Remember the Titans - The true story of a newly appointed African-American coach Arnold Schwartzenegger and his high school team on their first season as a racially integrated unit.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence - A highly advanced robotic boy longs to become "real" so that he can regain the love of his human mother. Imagine Arnie playing a "highly advanced robotic boy". Those words....they were built for him.
 
Home Alone: Arnie is left at home for Christmas by his family and he thwarts hundreds of would-be robbers by kicking the shit out of them and/or then blasting them to bits with uzi's.

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal"
 
Face/Off. Arnie foils some sort of evil plot by ripping John Travolta's and Nicholas Cage's faces off followed by a witty quip or two.
 
Downfall. No need for a Costume Department budget.
 
Pirates of The Caribbean - Blacksmith Will Turner teams up with eccentric pirate "Captain" Jack Sparrow (Arnold) to save his love, the governor's daughter, from Jack's former pirate allies, who are now undead. Schwartzenegger comes to life in this adventureous swash-buckling tale, with his trademark flamboyant craft.
 
Twins. Where Danny DeVito is outed as a fake by Arnie's real twin: Arnie. Some hilarity follows - at last.
 
Moby Dick. As Capt. Ahab the one legged (impotent), whale obsessed commander of the Pequod from the great American story by Melville. What other actor is better suited to play a mad Captain leading his crew on a voyage into his own personal hell. This quip was made for Arnie.

"Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
 
JustAFan said:
What other actor is better suited to play a mad Captain leading his crew on a voyage into his own personal hell.
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Sin City - He should've been Marv, not Mickey Rourke. Even though Mickey Rourke was already a perfect cast as Marv.
 
Sophie's Choice - Watch as Sophie (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is forced into the ultimate decision of which of his children must die. Naturally he kills both with his bare hands.
 
He was made to be Robocop. They try to make seemingly dead Arnie into a Robotic crimefighter and then realise he has a Robotic skeleton (T800) inside him anyway
 
Hammerdeus - Arnie Salieri beats the living crap out of Mozart with a claw hammer after a dispute about The Magic Flute.
 
The Godfather - Don Vito Corleone (Schwarzenegger) ends his feud with the 5 families by murdering them all with an M-16 and a Grenade Launcher.
 
Brokeback Mountain. Arnie. Stallone. Gay. Together. On Horseback.

Redneck Gay Bashers are in for the shock of their soon to be shortened lives when they try to beat up these two crossdressing, cowboy lovers.
 
If this goes too far, just delete it.

Schwarzenegger's List - During WW2 Arnie suits up with the NAZI's eliminating those racially unpure enemies of his beloved Der Fuhrer. Thrill as he works his way down his list one name at a time.

Churchill--check
FDR -- check
Stalin -- check
etc etc etc

The Diary of Arnie Frank. - Taking the other side of the story to stretch his acting chops see the heart wrenching tail of the young jewish girl Arnie who is forced to live in an attic hiding out from the Nazi's. His poignant diary both a look at the cost of mans inhumanity to man and how to keep faith and hope alive (well if you ignore the fact that he is caught and dies in a concentration camp).
 
Precious - An overweight, illiterate, abused Schwarzenegger in Harlem who is pregnant with twins. Arnold playing an illiterate character reading from a book is the role of his lifetime.
 
Taxi Driver - no need for all that shitty build-up in the original, Arnie cleans the scum off the streets by turning his taxi into a tank and blasting Harvey Keitel to smithereens. Unfortunately Jodie Foster gets caught in the crossfire, but she's just a casualty of war.
 
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure: Arnie and Sly Stallone have to travel through time finding historical figures and kicking their ass and/or killing them in order to finish their school report and keep their band going. Guns, girls and guitars.

One Liners:

Genghis Khan.....Genghis can't
After killing Joan Of Arc: I shot the floozy with my uzi
Napoleon: He was NapoleOn. Now he's Napoleoff!
 
:lol:

Imagine all of those slow-motion close-ups on John Travolta's face, the subtle looks, replaced by Arnold fecking Schwarzenegger. It would be the best thing ever. Schwarzenegger, pretending to be Nicholas Cage. Yes.
 
Tortilla boy - He sold tortillas on the corner, and the mob wanted in.

Special thanks to Pablo Francisco.
 
Inglorious Basterds, featuring Arnie as Hans Landa.

All those epic monologues delivered with the perfect accent and a flurry of emotion.

Also Spiderman. Peter Parker was never an awkward teenager, but an Austrian immigrant with immense strength even before he got his super powers.. The Green Goblin & co never even make an appearance, fearing the sight that is Arnie swinging through the skyline shooting webs and delivering stinging one liners.
 
Hectic said:
:lol:

Imagine all of those slow-motion close-ups on John Travolta's face, the subtle looks, replaced by Arnold fecking Schwarzenegger. It would be the best thing ever. Schwarzenegger, pretending to be Nicholas Cage. Yes.
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The best part is Nichloas Cage, pretending to be Schwarznegger, pretending to be cage.

It's the turducken of acting, it would win Best Actor and best supporting Actor in every awards ceremony from now till the end of time.
 
Broke back Mountain replacing Jake Gyllenhall.

Donne Darko replacing Jake Gyllenhall.

Jarhead replacing Jake Gyllenhall.

Mallrats replacing Jason Mewes.
 
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