British & Irish Governments Plan Ceremony in Croke Park
Northern Ireland Minister Peter Hain has announced details of a joint ceremony
before Irelands crunch game against England in Croke Park on the 24th
February.
The significance of the game is not lost on GAA followers and
republicans who remember the infamous shooting of 14 players and
supporters by the British Army on the 21st November 1921.
However according to GAA spokesman Ulick Magee a plan being devised by
the GAA and the Northern Ireland office, will attempt to draw a line
under the incident.
"We've spoken to the British government and they understand the
significance of the event back in 1921. Back then 14 people were killed
by British forces so in the spirit of the peace process and friendship
we're proposing that we shoot 14 of their lot before the match.
Then maybe have fireworks afterwards or something." Said Mr Magee.
Government Reaction
The plan has had a mixed reaction from Downing Street. Prime Minister
Tony Blair thinks the idea has merit but said that it needs to be done
properly and with dignity.
"Frankly I think its a small price to pay for progression in
Anglo-Irish affairs, but I think the idea of getting Ray Houghton to do
the shooting would be too much for many English fans to take
particularly after his goal against us back in 1988. And he's Scottish
which is worse."
Proposed Victims
According to informed sources, the GAA and Number 10 have already drawn
up a list of names for those to be shot. The list, which is not yet
agreed, is thought to be a compromise of people that both the Irish and
English public dislike. Among the names are moaney-hole singer James
Blunt, foul mouth idiot Jade Goody, Trinny & Suzannah, Man Utd donkey
Rio Ferdinand, cream cake expert Vanessa Feltz, "comedian" Russell
Brand and any of the blokes who do outside broadcasts for Sky News.
But discussions took an ironic twist when both sides agreed on shooting
Belfast singer Brian Kennedy, but neither side agreed on what
nationality he was. GAA representatives claim he's British with their
Foreign Office counterparts claiming he's Irish. The Irish claimed no
Irishman should sing or dance in such a manner and the English saying
he couldn't be a Brit because he had no tattoos on his forearm and
didn't wear Ben Sherman shirts. However there was eventual consensus
that he should be shot regardless of his nationality.
Plans agreed
The shooting will be carried out my members of the 2nd Infantry
Battalion from Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin. The original idea to
get the FCA to carry out the executions were dropped when they revealed
that their rifles are in fact made of baked-plastercine.
Similarly the Garda Emergency Response Unit was discounted for fear
they'd shoot more innocent civilians then claim overtime for it.
Northern Ireland Minister Peter Hain has announced details of a joint ceremony
before Irelands crunch game against England in Croke Park on the 24th
February.
The significance of the game is not lost on GAA followers and
republicans who remember the infamous shooting of 14 players and
supporters by the British Army on the 21st November 1921.
However according to GAA spokesman Ulick Magee a plan being devised by
the GAA and the Northern Ireland office, will attempt to draw a line
under the incident.
"We've spoken to the British government and they understand the
significance of the event back in 1921. Back then 14 people were killed
by British forces so in the spirit of the peace process and friendship
we're proposing that we shoot 14 of their lot before the match.
Then maybe have fireworks afterwards or something." Said Mr Magee.
Government Reaction
The plan has had a mixed reaction from Downing Street. Prime Minister
Tony Blair thinks the idea has merit but said that it needs to be done
properly and with dignity.
"Frankly I think its a small price to pay for progression in
Anglo-Irish affairs, but I think the idea of getting Ray Houghton to do
the shooting would be too much for many English fans to take
particularly after his goal against us back in 1988. And he's Scottish
which is worse."
Proposed Victims
According to informed sources, the GAA and Number 10 have already drawn
up a list of names for those to be shot. The list, which is not yet
agreed, is thought to be a compromise of people that both the Irish and
English public dislike. Among the names are moaney-hole singer James
Blunt, foul mouth idiot Jade Goody, Trinny & Suzannah, Man Utd donkey
Rio Ferdinand, cream cake expert Vanessa Feltz, "comedian" Russell
Brand and any of the blokes who do outside broadcasts for Sky News.
But discussions took an ironic twist when both sides agreed on shooting
Belfast singer Brian Kennedy, but neither side agreed on what
nationality he was. GAA representatives claim he's British with their
Foreign Office counterparts claiming he's Irish. The Irish claimed no
Irishman should sing or dance in such a manner and the English saying
he couldn't be a Brit because he had no tattoos on his forearm and
didn't wear Ben Sherman shirts. However there was eventual consensus
that he should be shot regardless of his nationality.
Plans agreed
The shooting will be carried out my members of the 2nd Infantry
Battalion from Cathal Brugha Barracks in Dublin. The original idea to
get the FCA to carry out the executions were dropped when they revealed
that their rifles are in fact made of baked-plastercine.
Similarly the Garda Emergency Response Unit was discounted for fear
they'd shoot more innocent civilians then claim overtime for it.
